What They Said: Favorite Quotes from The Vampire Diaries “The Cell” 

Episode: “The Cell”
Writer: Melinda Hsu Taylor

Joseph Salvatore: “I haven’t heard from Stefan yet, but I’m hoping he’ll be here soon. When was the last time you two spoke?” Damon: “Well, he doesn’t call, he doesn’t write. Of course, neither do I.”

Joseph: “There’s always time to be a better man.” Damon: “Not sure I got one of those in me.”

Dr. Whitmore: (After Damon kills Joseph) “Now I don’t have to pay him.”

Katherine (writing in her new diary): “Deep thoughts, mortal coil, blah, blah, blah. Ugh, my hand’s tired.”

Katherine: “What kind of sentimental idiot writes down everything they feel? Is this what the prophecy meant when it said all the dopplegangers were drawn together like magnets? Because if it is, I want my money back.” Stefan: “I’m just trying to make sure you don’t slit your wrists.” Katherine: “Well, this whole neurotic granny vibe doesn’t exactly make me want to live.”

Stefan: “What are you doing here?” Caroline: “I’m your sober sponsor. And I heard that you needed help.”

Damon: “Just so you know, it didn’t end well for the last Augustines. You’re inviting bad karma by holding me here.”

Damon (to Dr. Whitmore): “You know, most people would buy me dinner first.”

Damon: “He kept me in this very cell. Don’t think I haven’t appreciated the irony.”

Damon: “Hey. Hey. Look at me. Hey. But I promise you I will get you out of here, OK? I’ll get you out of here.”

Katherine: “Have you two ever uh — ahem — you know?” Caroline: No, I don’t.” Katherine: “Oh, come on, you know…Have you?” Caroline: “Oh my god, Katherine, seriously?” Katherine: “That wasn’t exactly a yes or a no.” Caroline: “We are friends.” Katherine: “Your loss. He’s great in bed.” Caroline: “Oh god, I’m so not listening to this.”

Katherine: “You are right about one thing. He needs to get to the root of his problem. Because right now the score is: safe — one. Stefan — zero.”

Enzo: “I’m partial to Jaguars myself. Convertibles. The kind you take on a Sunday drive to impress a pretty girl. Ever done that?” Damon: “Once or twice.” Enzo: “Oh come now. Got to be more than that.” Damon: “The girl I was trying to impress was more of a horse and carriage type girl.” Enzo: “What, just one girl?” Damon: “Never met another one like her.” Enzo: “Fair enough.”

Damon (to Enzo): “Well, you know, never really would have worked anyway. You’re a vampire. She’s a human. The relationship would have been doomed from the beginning.”

Elena: “OK, Stefan is gonna figure this out. When you don’t come home and no one hears from me, he will — he will find us.” Damon: “Points for optimism. But unfortunately, Stefan doesn’t even know this place exists.” Elena: “But you were here for five years.” Damon: “And the first year I thought he’d rescue me. He didn’t. Once I escaped, there was no point in giving him more to feel guilty about so…I never told him what happened here. I never told anyone.”

Stefan: “I can’t be in here, please.” Katherine: “You’re Stefan Salvatore. Suck it up.”

Elena: “Damon, I love you. I love you and these people tortured you for five years. Whatever you had to do, I don’t care.”

Damon: “I’m sorry, Enzo.”

Damon: “I knew if I was gonna save myself I had to stop caring about Enzo. So I turned off my emotions. I let my friend die.”

Damon: “After that, everything was fine. Everything was fine.”

Katherine (to Stefan): “Although, don’t forget you loved me before you hated me.”

Katherine: “In this moment are you going to feed on me? Or are you gonna save my life? Fight it, Stefan. Fight it. I’m here. I’m here. I’m with you. We’re together.”

Damon (re: Aaron): “Great. Mini-Wes.”

Damon (to a gun-toting Aaron): “Slick hands, cowboy.”

Damon: “I can see it. After I’ve taken out the entire Augustine family, I’m gonna take out every member of the Whitmore family.” Enzo: “Boo. I said use your imagination.” Damon: “Except one person. I’ll let that person grow up. Start a family. And then I’ll start killing Whitmores again. Then I’ll take out the generation after that, leaving only one person to carry on the name. And then I’ll take out the generation after that and so on and so on and so on.”

Caroline: “A little help here. I mean, I know I’m a vampire but this thing is really heavy.”

Stefan: “So I guess you were right, all along. It was easier to focus on my physical pain than the breakup. I need to move on.” Katherine: “So you admit it. I do know what I’m doing.” Stefan: “To be honest with you, I never know exactly what you’re doing, Katherine.” Katherine: “Well, Stefan, sometimes.I don’t either. Like right now, for example.”

Damon (conscious again after Aaron shot him in the head): “Ohh, guess I had that coming.”

Enzo (to Elena): “Oh, welcome. I’m 12144. My name’s Enzo.”

The mid-season finale for The Vampire Diaries airs next Thursday Dec. 12 @ 8/7c on The CW.