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What They Said

What They Said: Favorite Quotes from True Blood “Turn! Turn! Turn!” 

Photo Credit: HBO

Episode: “Turn! Turn! Turn!”
Writer: Brian Buckner

  • “Sookie.” “F–k Sookie.”
  • “Well, color me impressed. You guys know how to party.”
  • “Turn her? I don’t even like her.”
  • “I can’t be the only one who’s noticed she’s missing half her head now can I? Even if I tried, what’s to say she won’t rise up out of the ground tomorrow night completely and utterly f–ktarded?”
  • “If you can use your magic hands or your super sn–ch or whatever power it is you have over Eric to fix what’s broken between us and you’ll still owe me one, you got yourself a deal.”
  • “I am wearing a Walmart sweatsuit for y’all. If that’s not a demonstration of team spirit, I don’t know what is.”
  • “Bury us.”
  • “You say that but I see your fangs. And I’ve been around the block enough times to know that fangs are basically twin hard-ons. Hard-ons for trouble or for beatin’ on somebody. Never just for talking. Not ever.”
  • “Hoot, hoot, Merlotte.” “This is private property.” “Owned by your husband who your boyfriend killed. Kind of makes you sound like a whore.”
  • “You see, I did not care so much that you slept with Sarah. What hurt me was that she got to sleep with you.”
Photo Credit: HBO
  • “Now that I have been blessed with the gift of immortality, I finally have the strength to say it. I’m a gay vampire American. And I love you, Jason Stackhouse. I’m gonna let you speak now.”
  • “Sorry if that hurt.” “That’s OK. I asked for it.
  • “I am Steve f–king Newlin. Who the f–k are you?”
  • “You should run.” “I’m not leaving you here.”
  • “Who wants to die first?” “You, Hayes. You die first.”
  • “Friend of yours?” “It’s my sister, actually.”
Photo Credit: HBO
  • “Unfortunately, the stunt you pulled in the trunk came 12 miles too soon.” “Sorry.” “Don’t be. It was badass.”
  • “Wait for me inside, will you? I have to call New Orleans and lie my ass off.”
  • “On the couch, mama? Where I sleep?”
  • “No vampires. No witches. No ghosts. No maenads. And no motherf–kin’ werewolves!” (Alcide growls) “Don’t f–king growl at me.”
  • “Might want to keep the noise down in there. New Orleans is only 60 miles away.”
  • “We fight like siblings. But we f–k like champions.”
  • “I don’t want to have sex tonight.” “But we were rocking so hard.” “I know we were. And everything we were feeling in that entire song — that was real.”
  • “Wow. You don’t seem like that much of an asshole.” “Yeah, I swear to God I am, though. But I don’t want to be. Not anymore. Which is why I’m gonna to just drive you home.”
  • “Marcellus Clarke.” “Ike Applebaum?” “New papers are very hard to come by, I assure you, Mr. Applebaum.”
  • “In the name of the one true Vampire Authority, in whose wisdom and justice all is made manifest by God…do not f–king move!”
  • “There is dirt in my bra.”
  • “Lafayette!!!!!!!”

True Blood airs on HBO Sundays at 9/8c.–Tina Charles

Photos Credited to HBO

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