What They Said: Favorite Quotes from The Vampire Diaries “The Killer” 

Episode: “The Killer”
Writer: Michael Narducci

• “The thing is, I’m a vampire. And I hate it.”

• “So that’s what I need to do. No matter what Klaus asks, no matter what lies I have to tell, or secrets I have to keep, I’ll do it. No matter what it takes.”

• “How the hell did Connor escape?” “I blame mind-numbing incompetence but pointing fingers isn’t going to help me. You’re going to help me.”

• “You need to keep Damon in check.” “It would be a lot easier if I could just tell Damon the truth.” “You’d trust Damon with the cure? I imagine he prefers Elena the way she is.” “Nice try, Klaus, but I trust Damon a hell of a lot more than I trust you.” “And I trust no one which is why my sister is lying daggered in a box.”

• “He’s not answering his phone and he’s not here, which, you know, big deal, we’ve only got a killer vampire hunter on the loose.”

• “Why would he be dodging you?” “Oh, I don’t know, maybe the hot, sweaty dance party business?”

• “Ohh, you didn’t tell him, did you?” “No, Damon, I didn’t tell him that I got high on blood like some crackhead and then dirty danced with you.”

• “Oh, I see. This is classic shame spiral.” “I’m not in a shame spiral.” “Oh, you so are. Newbie vampire remorse? It’s worse than a hangover.”

• “The plan is I’m going to rip Connor’s heart out and feed it to him.” “That’s not a plan. We need to be careful. Connor has Jeremy and who knows how many other hostages.” “Hence, the open heart surgery.”

• “Until you figure it out? Is that where you’ve been all morning — out buying bossy pants?”

• “But we’re going to need some help so where the hell is the wicked witch of the west?”

• “You expect me to care about bloody hostages?”

• “Those two idiots. They’re like danger magnets.”

• “The clock’s ticking, brother.” “You know, I could do without the color commentary.”

• “For someone who doesn’t want to be like me, you sure are good at it.”

• “My brother’s the only thing that’s holding me together right now, Damon. If anything happens to him…” “We’ll get him out, I promise.”

• “Isn’t this why we sent him [Jeremy] to Denver?” “Well, we’ll get him out of this and we’ll compel him down to the Bahamas. Maybe he’ll find an island girl.”

• “Did you find the tunnel map?” “Got it…it was in his weapon’s drawer with seven stakes, some weird MacGyver crossbow and the last remaining vervain in Mystic Falls. So, how about we get this party started?”

• “Since when do we team up with Klaus and the Lollipop Guild?”

• “I just need you to trust me.”

• “Yeah, I don’t do teen drama.”

• “I’m sorry mate, are you going to answer, or should I  just assume you’re back to being — how did you phrase it — oh, yes, my little bitch?”

• “A vampire’s like a loaded gun. Eventually it’s going to go off.”

• “If you’re going to be like me, you need to understand. Vampires kill humans. Hunters kill vampires.”

• “Where’s Stefan? I’m going to kill him.”

• “No, Elena, this guy is dangerous.” “So am I, Damon!”

• “This has nothing to do with Klaus, you’re just going to have to trust me on that.” “Don’t want to. Don’t have to. Not gonna.”

• “I need to bury him. I killed him. I should…I should bury him.”

• “You told me to kill him. So I did.”

• “I keep waiting for you to make up some dumb story so I can at least call you a liar. Is that now?”

• “Is that my journal?” “I had to go through six locks to get it.”

• “You figured out how to tell Klaus you lost a hunter and a hybrid?” “He’s on a plane which means I get to live for another six hours.” “I got your back, you know, when he comes to murder you.” “Thanks. Thanks for not saying anything to Elena.” “About what? A cure that we don’t have, can’t find and probably doesn’t exist? You’re welcome.”

• “She doesn’t need to know that she killed her chance at being human again.” “Alleged chance.”

• “Sure, Stefan. Since you asked, I’d be happy to go on a suicide mission with you for a potentially non-existing cure. Not a problem.”

• “You want to cure her because she’s a vampire and she’s not cut out to be or you can’t love her if she is one?” “I’ll always love her but she’s not supposed to be this person. I don’t want her to be.” “Well, if I’m going to ride this fairytale to its conclusion, let me be clear about one thing.” “What’s that?” “I’m fine with her either way, brother. So, if we do this, I’m doing it for you.”

The Vampire Diaries airs Thursdays at 8/7c on the CW.