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What They Said

What They Said: Favorite Lines from NCIS “Baltimore” 

Photo Credit: Monty Brinton/CBS

Episode: “Baltimore”

Writer: Steve Binder

  • “Tony is just…” “I don’t want to know.”
  • “I lost my phone. You haven’t seen it?” “Use mine.” “Wow, that’s heavy.”
  • “A fortune cookie.” “Can’t wait to crack that open.”
  • “Forgive me if I don’t take fashion advice from a man who still wears tube socks.” “What’s the matter with tube socks? They’re very comfortable and they give me traction.”
  • “You didn’t need tube socks for that.”
  • “Everybody, I just want to let you know that I’m a little disappointed. PCP addicts are Friday night. It’s Saturday night which is hooker night. Where are the hookers?” “Hey, Tony!” “I mean call girls. Hi, Sapphire.” “When’s the big day?” “Uh…thanks for those Christmas decorations.”
  • “Wow…a stapler. What is that?” “Mighty Mouse.” “Mighty Mouse.” “Found it at a garage sale. It’s all I could afford on my salary.”
  • “See? That’s why you can dress like that. You’re good looking. But one of these days, your looks are going to run out.” “I plan to be safely married by then.” “Well, if not, you might want to consider a new wardrobe. Seriously. Yeah, with the right clothes you’d be unstoppable.”
  • “You dress like my father.”
  • “Freeze, dirtbag. You can’t outrun me, I’m wearing tube socks!”
  • “I said freeze, dirtbag.”
  • “You’re not just any partner, McGee.” “Neither is Tony.”
  • “So what am I supposed to call you uh…Special Agent…Leroy? Jethro. That’s a little Beverly Hillbillies. Gibbs it is, I guess.”
  • “Listen here, you’re the one that didn’t tell the department that you’re uh…N – C – I – S was running an op.”
  • “Navy guy…I don’t like getting played. Having said that, well played. Very Donnie Brasco…”
  • “Dinozzo, talk to me” “About what?” “Are you OK?” “I’m fine.” “This has nothing to do with that. Ancient history.” “Yeah, I know but that doesn’t make this any easier.” “I’m fine. I”m more worried about Abby’s theory that the port-to-port killer’s targeting our friends. We can’t protect all of them.” “We protect them by catching the killer. Same as you did before.”
  • “Testing 1 – 2 -3, can you hear me over there in the Joey Peanuts Gallery?” “Yeah, yeah, I can hear you. Very funny.”
  • “How’d we end up doing the navy cop’s job for him?” “Cause he’s smarter than us.” “More devious, maybe. I don’t know about smart.” “I kind of liked him, actually.”
  • “Who’d want to be a navy cop? I’d rather have the plague.”
  • “It’s really sad how Tony and his old partner drifted so far apart.” “It happens.” “Does that mean it can happen to my three musketeers? Because if you say yes, McGee, I’m going to start crying right now.” “No, whatever it is.”
  • “Do you need to get that?” “No, my wife.”
  • “Ah — I gotta get this one.” “Is that your wife again?” “Divorce lawyer.”
  • “You also have the right to an attorney so he can tell you how you weren’t hugged enough as a child.”
  • “I think he was looking for redemption.” “Well, let’s go give it to him.”
  • “Wow, i’m not a big fan of that orange. And the glare off that skylight is ridiculous.”
  • “Maybe being a cop isn’t for me.” (head slap) “Did you just physically assault me?” “I don’t have a lot of rules. But rule number five is you don’t waste good. You’re good.” “Thanks.” “Don’t make a habit of that.”
  • “Did I mention you’re a devious, man, Gibbs?” “Boy, I got vision and the rest of the world is wearing bifocals.” “Butch Cassidy, nice!”

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