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What They Said

What they Said: Favorite Quotes from The Vampire Diaries “Death and the Maiden” 

Death and the Maiden
Photo Credit: Blake Tyers/The CW

Episode: “Death and the Maiden”
Writer: Rebecca Sonnenshine


Silas: “Listen you two. Here’s my advice. Live it up, you know? Enjoy this love while it lasts. Because let me tell you something. Just a couple days ago I was psychic. I was immortal. I was in love. Now my neck hurts. My soul is crushed. I’m sitting at a bus stop in friggin’ Delaware.”
Girlfriend of guy next to Silas: “You’re in Philly.”
Silas: I’m in Philly? Ugh! God, it’s even worse.”

Silas (to guy whose insides he was just liquefying): “Look at that. Love is so damn fickle. Incredible. Here you go, buddy. Come on up. Come on up. Come on up. Up you go. Good. Good. Buses, however? Tried and true.”


Stefan: “What’s wrong with her?”
Damon: “Tessa turned her into a block of rock. left her in a box for 2000 years, probably went a little stir crazy, like those deserted island guys who talk to volleyballs.”


Damon (holding a screeching Amara): “Let’s hope love is blind…or at least deaf.”


Jeremy: “Bonnie, there’s something I want to tell you. Actually, there are three things that I want to tell you.”
Bonnie: “Don’t you dare give me a goodbye speech.”
Jeremy: “This is not a goodbye — that’s the first thing.”
Bonnie: “Okay.”
Jeremy: “I know one way or another that you will always be here. The second is: thank you…for giving your life up for me. And the third is…”
Bonnie: “Don’t tell me. If you don’t tell me we’ll have to wait until another time…which means there’ll be another time.”
Jeremy: “I’m not sure it works like that.” Bonnie: “Just go with it. Okay?”


Dr. Maxfield: “Patient is irritable. I’m not sure if this is a symptom…or personality.” Katherine (throws his recorder): “Personality.”


Silas: “Hello, Damon.”
Damon: “Well look who decided to pick up his phone? Is your secretary out sick?”
Silas: “They prefer administrative assistants now thank you very much. I learned that on the bus.”
Silas: “Did you know that gas is over three dollars a gallon at the moment. It seems to really concern a lot of people.”
Damon: “This is not the time to have an everyman crisis. We need you back here to resurrect Bonnie before your nutter butter soulmate offs herself and destroys the other side.”
Silas: “Well if you don’t bring Bonnie back from the other side then you’ll be breaking your promise to Elena and the idea of jeopardizing your relationship brings me this perverse amount of joy. So I’ve decided not to help you, Damon.”


Caroline: “Great. Even Katherine’s friends are bitches.”


Elena: “As long as he’s alive I’m holding out hope that he can still help us.”
Stefan: “Well, as someone who just spent the last three months at the bottom of a quarry because of the guy, I wouldn’t hold your breath. Pun intended. Silas needs to die. And I need to be the one to kill him. End of story.”


Bonnie: “I can touch her.”
Jeremy: “Okay. That’s weird.”


Damon: “I was hoping we could talk.”
Tessa: “And I was hoping you were my Chinese food. Goodbye.”
Damon: “You remember Amara, right? Brunette, brown eyes, I’m surprisingly not in love with her.”


Damon: “And you were right about these dopplegangers. They do always end up together. How does it feel to say I told you so?”
Tessa: “Like I want to shoot fireballs at Silas and drown him in acid.”
Damon: “See? That’s what I thought. So how would you feel about us making a deal?”


Elena: “Haven’t you heard it’s bad luck to kill your doppleganger?”
Stefan: “If I don’t kill him, I’m gonna lose my mind. Turn off my humanity. Or both.”


Damon: “Think hard. I have a girlfriend at home who misses her best friend. And a wacky stowaway on suicide watch. It’s ridiculous.”
Damon: “You want doppleganger blood? I got dopplegangers coming out of my ears? How many do you want?”


Nadia: “You hate junk food. You call it toxic poison.”
Katherine: “Yeah, well. I’ve decided to live a little. Now may I be excused, scary vampire daughter?”
Katherine: “Do we really have to do this whole mother-daughter bonding thing? Estrangement is so much easier, don’t you think?”


Caroline: “Sorry to interrupt the world’s weirdest lunch but…you with the doppleganger blood? Duty calls.”
Katherine: “Wonderful. Now that Katherine is a human and fragile, everyone thinks that they can just boss her around.”


Tessa: “So you live in this giant mansion with two dopplegangers that are destined to end up together. I swear there’s a sitcom in there somewhere. So where is the ancient boyfriend-stealing bitch?”


Tessa: “Well if it isn’t the face that launched a thousand dopplegangers.”



Katherine: “The cute one’s here.”


Tessa: “Now where’s Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum?”


Katherine (to Elena): “Show off.”

Damon: “Electricity is out in the whole house.What happened?”
Elena: “Silas is here.”
Damon: “Well Silas owes me a fuse box.


Damon: “I only count two dopplegangers. Where’s crazy pants?”


Tessa: “I loved you.”
Silas: “Yeah, well, get in line.”


Elena: “It’s a flesh wound. Get up. You’re not done yet.”


Stefan (to Silas):”Do you remember me? I remember you.”


Amara: “I’ve been in hell for 2000 years.”
Damon: “What’s another five minutes, huh?”
Amara: “Let me die.”

Death and the Maiden
Photo Credit: Blake Tyers/The CW

Bonnie: “Tell me the third thing?
Jeremy: “Huh?”
Bonnie: “Tell me.”
Jeremy: “I love you.”
Bonnie: “I love you too.”
Jeremy: “I can feel you.”
Bonnie: “I can feel you too.”
Bonnie: “I’m back.”


Jeremy: “I missed this. Holding your hand…I’m never gonna let you go again.”


Tessa (to Bonnie): “As I pass through you, you’ll feel my death. You’ll feel every death. Every supernatural being that passes over to the other side, will pass through you. Sorry. That’s gonna hurt like a bitch.”


Stefan: “I wanted it to be you. When that safe finally opened and somebody found me, I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be both of you.”



Caroline: “Thank you. For what you did today…”
Katherine: “Enough. I killed you once, don’t forget. We still hate each other.”
Caroline: “Yes you did. And yes, we do.”



Stefan: “No. It’s over. It’s supposed to be over.”



The Vampire Diaries airs Thursdays at 8/7c on the CW.

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