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What They Said

What They Said: Favorite Quotes from Suburgatory “Down Time” 

Photo Credit: ABC/Richard Cartwright

Episode: “Down Time”

Writer: Brian Chamberlayne

  • “How’s the mood? Good?” “I wouldn’t say that. She’s moody, but then she always has been. Regular bowel movements from what I can hear. But a mother’s instinct, Dr. Roger. Something’s different. She’s off.”
  • “Why didn’t you tell me?” “Because it’s none of your business.” “Being in love is nothing to be ashamed of. Unless he’s a drifter. Are you in love with a drifter?” “No.” “It’s not Arthur Fonzarelli is it because he’s fictional.”
  • “I’m not a tweenager. I’m practically old enough to vote.” “Now you listen to me Lisa Marie. For years I have sat here while you prattled on about your social life when nothing even remotely interesting was going on. Well now that things are getting real I want details. I want the dish. Bring it on sistah.”
  • “She broke your bed?” “Buddy, Jill was doing things to me last night that would’ve broken a KGB agent. She’s got me open buddy. Wide open. My theory is… that she had been so repressed, so frigid for so many years that her sexual energy pent up inside of her like a tsunami and once I figured out how to unleash… her waves they have been crashing down on me every night buddy. Every night I have been surfing my lady’s brine.”
  • “I’m ravenous from all the intercourse. I can’t get enough sustenance to fuel the intercourse.”
  • “Glad to hear you’re eating well and keeping yourself-” “Real, real busy. I been filling every second of every day with lots of real fun super fun real fun stuff.”
  • “Sounds like you have a system, I guess. But you know things do have a way of catching up with you.” “I know, which is why I have Dalia in therapy five days a week. Well, gotta run. I have a pap smear then I’m taking Yakult to get blinged out grillz like Nelly.”
  • “Tessa let me just cut to the chase. The story’s about to break and I want you to hear it from me first. I have taken Malik… as a lover.” “I knew that.” “Did my mother tell you?”
  • “Where did you learn how to drink from a fountain girl?”
  • “I just, I want you to know that while he and I will most likely be exploring parts of each other’s bodies that are difficult to clean my relationship with you will remain stet.” “Stet?” “Unchanged.”
  • “‘Cause I’m not the type of girl you ditches her GF the minute she gets a BF. You know, ’cause me and you we’re for real. We’re like Thelma and that other ho.”
Photo Credit: ABC/Richard Cartwright
  • “I was happy for Lisa and Malik. Really I was. But if I recalled correctly Thelma and Louise’s relationship ended on kind of a down note.”
  • “How about Lisik?” “It’s ok. I don’t think it beats Malisa. Tessa, what do you think?” “I think you two should maintain your individual identities and not feel compelled to fuse into one person just because you’re dating.”
  • “I think he has an Obama quality. I see a young Obama meets Denzel Washington. Meets Sammy Davis Jr.” “You’re just naming black people.” “Meets Montell Jordan.” “I actually get that a lot.” “You’re jiving me, really?” “Mom.”
  • “Would you like to sleep over tonight?” “I don’t think my mom would allow that.” “Course not. I just don’t want him to lose interest.” “I won’t.”
  • “I hope I’m dressed ok. Since I didn’t know what were were doing I brought a raincoat, a walking coat, a car coat, and a cape. In case we see opera. We probably won’t see opera.”
  • “I’m black. And black people know a lot about romance.” “Is that true?” “Al Green. Al B. Sure. Jodeci. Oran “Juice” Jones. Teddy Riely. Teddy Pendergrass. Marvin Gaye.” “Yeah, but wasn’t he-” “No, Teddy. He wasn’t.” “Ok. Maybe black people are smoove.”
  • “It’s like… she expects people to feel sorry for her. But, like, I don’t feel sorry for her.” “What do you feel?” “Angerment. Bitterness. Resent.” “You blame her for the divorce.” “I do. I totally do. You know, until you put those words into my mouth I didn’t even realize I felt them.”
  • “That seems… good.” “It’s also comfortable for sleeping.” “Yeah. I’m not gonna be doing a whole lot of sleeping on this baby. Am I right?”
  • “‘The boning.’ I like the sound of that.”
  • “I’m a recovering tricycle… trying to get by on one wheel.” “Been there. So you wanna get something to eat? Your pajamas are making me hungry.”
  • “The two of them are total cohorts if that’s a word.”
  • “I laid around a lot. I watched a lot of People’s Court. A court in which justice was almost never served.”
  • “I’m probably gonna need a whole new depression wardrobe. I’ll probably need a whole new wardrobe.”
  • “Damn girl. Where you learn how to eat fondue?”
Photo Credit: ABC/Richard Cartwright
  • “Are you sure you’re ok with this? Because I know they don’t serve any of the food that was listed on your pajamas.” “Yeah. I don’t only eat… food that’s on my pajamas.”
  • “Tessa wait. Don’t run.” “I’m not running. I’m seated.”
  • “I didn’t even own one pair of shoes when I walked barefoot into this country.” “Ew.” “Within a year I taught myself to speak English-” “Carmen, honey, put a pin in it. Dalia’s mama’s here to inspire her.” “-to speak English by listening to NPR’s All Things Considered.”
  • “Dalia I know you’re mad at me. I’m mad at me too and I’m mad at Steven and I’m mad at Carmen-” “You’re mad at me?” “It isn’t always rational.”
  • “Dalia! I’m pretty I was clear about no movie pets. That said he is a cute caramel color. That I was not expecting.” “And me makes me really happy mommy. He does. And I can keep my cell phone in his pocket.”
  • “Mom says when you want to thank someone you should send a thank-you card, but I don’t want a thank-you card. I want you to let me touch your boob instead.” “My boob?” “Either boob. Just so I can say I did mostly.” “You have three seconds. Go for it.” “So what’s your address?” “You don’t have to send a thank-you card. Bye.”

Suburgatory airs Wednesdays at 8:30/7:30c on ABC.

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