What They Said: Favorite Quotes from The Vampire Diaries “After School Special” 

Episode: “After School Special”
Writer: Brett Matthews

Caroline: “Hey, you just missed the mandatory all-school assembly.” Stefan: “Well, that’s because I’m at a mandatory all-alone drinking party.” Caroline: “Seriously? You decided to go on a ripper bender now?” Stefan: “My brother slept with Elena. Kind of puts a little bit of a damper on things.”

Matt (to Jeremy): “OK, I get it. I get it. You’re a badass.”

Jeremy: “You see that?” Damon: “Couldn’t miss it. It was in slow motion.”

Damon: “Take a seat at the bench, Quarterback. Karate Kid wants a shot at the title.”

Stefan (to Caroline): “How would you like to drive the white oak stake through Rebekah’s heart?” Caroline: “If it means you not drinking your way through the Mystic Grill, sure.”

Sheriff Forbes: “So, first speech under your belt. Now for the fun part. Welcome to the world of careful cover-ups.”

Rebekah: “I thought you’d do anything to save Elena, even if it meant taking the cure yourself so you could grow old and die with her. Why do you look so surprised?”

Jeremy: “Don’t act like you care about my life. You care about the hunter’s mark and curing Elena so she’s not sired to your ass.” Damon: “Both require you to be alive, which is why I’ve updated our relationship status to ‘it’s complicated.'”

Damon: “You talked to her at all? Elena?” Jeremy: “Maybe. Why? Running out of voice mails to listen to?”

Damon: “That’s for Carol Lockwood.”

Rebekah: So, vampire Elena is a trollop who likes bad boys, which explains why Stefan reeks of alcohol.”

Rebekah: “You’re hiding something. ‘Fess up.” Elena: “I didn’t sleep with Damon because of his sire bond. I slept with Damon because I’m in love with him.”

Damon: “If you’re here for payback, go for it. But you’ll be stuck baby-sitting the little hunter that could.”

Damon: “Now I know why those hybrids hated you. You are annoying.”

Klaus: “And here was I thinking you were the fun brother.”

Elena (about Damon): “When I’m with him, it feels unpredictable. Like…like I’m free.”

Elena (about Stefan): “Lately, I feel like I’m a project. Like I’m a problem that needs to be fixed. I think I make him sad. And I can’t be with someone like that because…when he looks at me, all he sees is a broken toy.”

Rebekah: “Do you still love Stefan?” Elena: “Yes.” Rebekah: “Are you still in love with Stefan?” Elena: “No.”

Rebekah: “Did…that…hurt?” Stefan: “Yes.” Rebekah: “Welcome to the last 900 years of my life.”

Elena: “Stefan, we have to talk about this, please.” Stefan: “Talk about what, huh? How many more ways are there for you to rip my heart out?” Elena: “I’m sorry.”

Tyler: “I should have saved her.”

Rebekah: “You’re still protecting her. Must I rip your bleeding heart from your chest and show you the scar tissue that is Elena Gilbert?”

Rebekah (to Elena): “Just say the word and I’ll make you and all that misery you’ve caused him disappear.” Stefan: “Do it.” Rebekah: “Excuse me?” Stefan: “Erase it all. Every memory.” Elena: “Stefan, no.” Stefan: “I said do it.” Rebekah: “No. That would be far too easy. I refuse to make you forget her the way Klaus made you forget me. (To Elena) But at least you know how he really feels. Consider your eternity of pain my revenge, Stefan. I’ve used you for all you’re worth so now you’re free to go.”

Damon: “I’m thinking for the first time all week, I’m happy to be at Camp Nowhere.”

Elena: “Something happened today. I realized something about you. It’s about us. And you can say that it’s the sire bond. And you know what? Maybe…maybe it is. But I’m telling you, it’s the most real that I’ve ever felt in my entire life. I love you, Damon. I love you.” Damon: “Look. I’m going to get this cure for you. And I’m gonna have to do things that you’re not going to like.” Elena: “Damon…” Damon: “Listen, carefully. Get in your car right now. Come to me.” Elena: “I’ll be there soon.”

Stefan: “Listen, I hate my brother. And you hate yours. But Damon’s got Jeremy. Klaus has the sword. And Shane has Bonnie. You and I are the only ones left with nothing. You said it yourself, right? Whoever finds the cure first gets to decide what to do with it. So what do you say? You want to be partners?”

Jeremy: “You said you were gonna convince Klaus to do this another way.” Damon: “Well, I thought about it. And then I realized his idea was better.”

The Vampire Diaries airs Thursdays on the CW at 8/7c.