Rewind and Repeat: Nick and Jess…In Bed…Together, New Girl “Virgins”
We’ve been building towards this moment almost since the beginning of the series. Nick and Jess have always had too much chemistry and we’ve been (somewhat) patiently waiting for things to develop between these two. We have to thank the writers for not dragging this moment out for a few more seasons. Is it too soon for their first time? Probably. Will they continue running way from each other despite this big development? We’d bet on it. Are we excited to see where this goes? Absolutely. What does it all mean? We don’t know, but we like it. I mean, Nick lets Jess get on the elevator to go meet Teddy but just as the doors are about to close… cue the Ellie Goulding song. So appropriate. He picks her up and he’s done thinking, he’s done over-thinking. Loved every second of it.
Other great moments:
Winston has no game. Not only did he think those prostitutes were businesswomen, but every single piece of evidence to prove that fact gets ignored by him. So funny. I love that he’s proud of himself for lasting ten whole seconds his first time. Oh Winston, I hope you never change.
Nick and Ms. Octopussy. Such a touching moment with Nick and his dad. Nick wasn’t able to close with Ms. Octopussy, but his dad’s okay with it. Nick was a over-thinker at that age and his father just wanted to make sure he didn’t let certain experiences pass him by. Nick did discover, however, that he really likes drinking.
Schmidt is all lubed up and ready to go. Nick was supposed to vacate the room for Schmidt’s first time but he may have done some mushrooms before leaving for his Dave Matthews concert – yep, he’s a Daver. And the mushrooms may have made Nick believe his arm was a magnet stuck to the magnetic wall beside his bed. When he finally breaks free, Schmidt ends up on top of him. What ensues is a hilarious sequence of events.
Jess’s horrible first time story turns out to have a very happy ending. First of all, how funny were all the comments from the peanut gallery? And, of course her first time was with a dashing fireman. But all that build up to get her there was pretty hilarious and more than a little uncomfortable. We love that Dylan O’Brien played a very stereotypical musician type – at first. Who knew he’d turn out to be on antidepressants and possibly gay? Random note to Teen Wolf producers: Can Stiles please get some action this season?
Some great lines, written by Elizabeth Meriwether:
Schmidt: â€œIâ€™m going on a date with Elizabeth. I havenâ€™t had sex with her since I was fat and accessing my penis was like getting the remote control out of the couch.â€
Winston: â€œDaisy called. Weâ€™re going out tonight. Yeah, she sounded pretty excited. I do believe her exact words were, â€˜This is your last chance.â€™ So Iâ€™m very confident.â€
Jess: â€œI already regret this. Teddy took my flower.â€
Nick: â€œHe stole a flower from you? And you want to have drinks with him?â€ â€œOh. From your wonderful secret garden.â€
Jessâ€™s prom date: â€œIâ€™m gonna freak you toward the bed. Do I have your permission?â€
Jess: â€œYes you do.â€
Jessâ€™s prom date: â€œWell, do I have your permission-â€œ
Jess: â€œJust be a man and rip it off.â€
Jessâ€™s prom date: â€œNow Iâ€™m feeling very unsafe.â€
Schmidt: â€œI donâ€™t think Iâ€™ve ever seen you in a tuxedo.â€
Nick: â€œIâ€™ve worn a tuxedo. Everybody has a tuxedo.â€
Schmidt: â€œA tuxedo is different than a suit.â€
Nick: â€œIt is?â€
Winston: â€œSo you mean to tell me you didnâ€™t lose your virginity at your prom?â€
Jess: â€œTechnically, no.â€
Schmidt: â€œTechnically? Technically why did we listen to that whole story then?â€
Schmidt: â€œDavid Foster Wallace where is the sex?â€
Schmidt: â€œI got some lubricant. Itâ€™s to use on a woman. To increase her pleasure.â€
Schmidt: â€œHow many minutes before sex is it okay to eat?â€
Nick: â€œI donâ€™t think itâ€™s an exact science. I think it depends on your frame.â€
Schmidt: â€œSo I should eat right before.â€
Schmidt: â€œIn terms of lubricant, do I put a small amount everywhere or do I use a large amount in a small, in a smaller area?
Jess: â€œWait. What? You lost your virginity to prostitutes?â€
Winston: â€œNo, they were businesswomen. Who could dance sexy.â€
Nick: â€œWinston. One hundred percent they were prostitutes.â€
Nick: “Iâ€™m gonna do it to you.â€
Ms. Octopussy: â€œYouâ€™re gonna do what to me?â€
Nick: â€œI donâ€™t know.â€
Ms. Octopussy: â€œAre you crying?â€
Nick: â€œPlease excuse me, but I had to lay off a lot of really good men today at work.â€
Mysteria: â€œWhatâ€™s wrong with your friend?â€
Winston: â€œHeâ€™s a virgin.â€
Mysteria: â€œArenâ€™t you a virgin too?
Winston: â€œJust my penis baby. Just my penis.â€
Jess: â€œThe only antidepressants you need are in my pants.â€
Other prom night guy: â€œItâ€™s really a medical issue.â€
Other prom night guy: â€œYou know itâ€™s so much easier when youâ€™re in the shower and youâ€™re by yourself.â€
Schmidt: â€œWeâ€™ll have to take the batteries out of the smoke detector.â€
Jess: â€œRuh roh.â€
We’re still not sure how to feel about Cece’s impending nuptials. Even though we love Schmidt with Merritt Wever‘s Elizabeth right now, we know he’ll do something drastic and ill-planned to get her back. We’re fine with that.
New Girl airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on Fox.
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Catching Up with Ted Lasso and Previewing Season 2
[Warning: General spoilers ahead.] The not so dirty little secret about how I approach a new series is that I sometimes make a call based on the headspace I’m in at the time. It’s been a minute since I’ve picked up a show after the first season and then binge…
Interview: Henri Esteve on Grown-ish Season 3
An interview with Henri Esteve, who plays Javi on Freeform’s Grown-ish. He talks about his season three experience.
For All Mankind Season 2: Talking with Wrenn Schmidt, Krys Marshall, Jodi Balfour, and Sonya Walger [Exclusive]
[Warning: General spoilers ahead.] One of the hooks of For All Mankind is that it’s very much a story about the women of NASA. In Season 2, we explore the journeys of the women in the program, either through their own service or through their family affiliations. Four of those…
Rosy McEwen Talks The Alienist: Angel of Darkness Season Finale [Exclusive]
[Warning: Spoilers for the season finale episodes.] How’s everyone after that finale? I will freely admit I got a little misty in episode eight as John told Sara why he loved her, and later that he wanted her despite what he might forfeit, and then at the end when he…
Rosy McEwen Talks The Alienist: Angel of Darkness [Exclusive]
Hands down, one of the best surprises of The Alienist: Angel of Darkness is that the serial killer this season has been front and center alongside the cast as a fully-formed character. We’ve watched Libby Hatch devolve from a prim, mild-mannered nurse to a woman in a rage hell-bent on…
The Alienist: Angel of Darkness Relationship Recap: John and Sara
[Warning: Spoilers for “Belly of the Beast” and “Memento Mori”] If you’ve read me for a while (thank you!), you know two things — I lean way, way in on the characters I adore and I loathe love geometry arcs. So, I’m torn about where we are and where we…
Louriza Tronco Talks The Order Season 2 [Exclusive]
[Warning: Spoilers ahead for Season 2.] The Order’s second season is dark yet delightful entertainment on many levels, and one of its biggest sources of joy and snark is the sassy Gabrielle Dupres. Last season, she was assertive and deadly and fairly annoyed with the world. This season, she’s been…
Previewing Netflix’s Virgin River
[Warning: General spoilers ahead.] Full disclosure: I have a Netflix account for my Mom, but I’m not a regular viewer. If I get a heads up on something, I’ll go look for it, but I don’t have a wander across its offerings, which, as I understand it, is how most…
Final Thoughts From the Killjoys Team [Exclusive]
This is the day of the week I’d normally hit you up with a Killjoys preview, but now that we’ve put the series to bed and released Team Awesome Force into the wild, I have one more treat for you–some final thoughts excerpted from my conversations with the Killjoys folks….
Michelle Lovretta Talks Wrapping Up Killjoys [Exclusive]
[Warning: Spoilers for the series finale.] To quote Miss Jackson, “That’s the end?” Yes, friends, it is. And like I promised you, everything would be, was, and is alright. I went to the Killjoys source, series creator Michelle Lovretta, who wrote the last episode, to break down that delicious finale….
What They Said: Three Revealing Conversations from Survivor’s Remorse “Closure”
WARNING: Spoilers for Survivor’s Remorse “Closure” The latest episode of Starz’s Survivor’s Remorse featured conversations that showed characters really digging deep into their thoughts, emotions and motivations.
Two Takes: The Catch “The Knock-Off”
Who can you trust? If this episode of The Catch was any indication, the answer is just about nobody. Betrayal was running rampant as Felicity (Shivani Ghai) arose from the dead to seduce-con Margot, Gretchen (Maria Thayer, Gotham, The Mindy Project) played gold-hearted Alice 2.0 before swindling Ethan, Tessa jumped…
What They Said: Top 3 Quotable Moments from Preacher “El Valero”
Both Quincannon and Jesse refuse to give up on what they each think is rightfully theirs. While Jesse is struggling to face the consequences of his actions, Quincannon has laid his past demons to rest and is hellbent on moving forward and putting Annville on the map again. Despite a…
What They Said: Favorite Quotes from Supergirl “Worlds Finest”
Oh, Supergirl. That ending was cold. But I can’t hate on you because the latest episode has quickly become one of my favorites.
What They Said: Top 4 Quotable Moments from Black Sails “XXIII”
The dialogue in “XXIII” is phenomenal. It’s always a fun ride when Black Sails carries its viewers along without giving them the chance to catch their breath. When an episode moves at this unforgiving pace, there is no chance for a breather nor is there a respite from the information…
What Lucifer Said: Favorite quotes from Supernatural “O Brother, Where Art Thou?”
Supernatural episodes are almost always funny but thanks to the dialogue and a certain man speaking said dialogue, I laughed a lot during “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” You know, when I wasn’t busy fearing for Sam’s life or wondering what in the world was going on with Dean and…
What They Said: The Flash, “Legends Of Today” and Arrow, “Legends Of Yesterday”
Two nights of Arrow +Â The Flash = what more could we ask for?! I don’t know what it is about blending these shows, but I canâ€™t help but feel that every time they come together, they somehow become greater than the sum of their parts. And thatâ€™s saying a lot…
What they Said: Top 4 Quotable Moments from Graceland “Little Bo Bleep”
Shoot outs. Fake outs. And long-awaited revelations. “Little Bo Bleep” was a jam-packed episode that wrapped up some loose ends and totally frayed others. Â It finally gave us one Sarkissian in jail and pulled back the curtain on Briggs’ master plan, but it also set up Jakes for a world…
What They Said: Favorite Quotes from Poldark “Part 4”
â€œWhat have I told you, I don’t require my wife to crochet and sip tea, but I do require her to remember she’s not a beast of burden.â€ No, Iâ€™m not talking about The Rolling Stones! I have to admit though, just for a second, the lyrics popped into my…
3 Moments of Goodness from Brooklyn Nine-Nine “Johnny and Dora”
The most satisfying part of this season’s finale has to the Jake and Amy kiss. Well, they kiss three times but the last one is the best one — and it means something. The Charles and Rosa dynamic was also great. I love how she’s convinced he doesn’t know anything…