Immortality isn’t a curse in and of itself. As Cain understands, the curse is seeing those you care about grow old and die, again and again, as you stay exactly the same for millenia. Eventually, you just stop letting anyone get close. As we learn this week, Cain isn’t suicidal on principle. He’s just tired of being lonely.
We start on a rather macabre slapstick note. Cain comes looking for Lucifer at the penthouse and is greeted by a chainsaw-wielding devil. Luci runs through a list of ways to kill Cain but Cain says he’s tried them all. Even after stabbing him in the back with one of Maze’s knives, Cain just winces and heads out.
Decker and Espinoza attend the site of a wood chipper murder. It happens to be in a neighbourhood they considered buying in when they first had Trixie. The victim is named June Lee and all the neighbours are shocked at her murder.
Back at the penthouse, Lucifer has Maze brings out all her demon weapons but as her kill move is always her blade, which has already been tried, that’s a dead end. Maze is a little preoccupied with having seen Linda and Amenadiel kissing but advises Lucifer that he should figure out why Decker makes him vulnerable and find the equivalent for Cain.
Cain finds Lucifer in his office the next day. Having rearranged the furniture a bit, Lucifer tries to psychoanalyze him to Cain’s increasing irritation. Cain storms out and runs into Decker who is delighted to see that he hasn’t left as he’d planned. She informs him that the wood chipper victim was living under an assumed identity. The victim’s real name is Sandra Jang and she faked her own death three years ago.
Lucifer insinuates that “Lt Pierce” is very familiar with cases involving false identities and Cain insists on helping with the case in order to steer the conversation away from his identity.
The police uncover Sandra’s previous life as a chemist for a Korean drug gang. Her specialty is an ecstasy-like drug called K-Pop. Being a nightclub owner, Lucifer has a supplier for the drug and arranges for a meeting at LUX for Decker and Cain.
Maze is at the LA District Attorney’s Office looking for a new bounty to hunt to keep her mind off of Linda and Amenadiel’s relationship. She is bored by her offerings but is suddenly aroused by a scent in the office. It turns out to be Charlotte Richards and Maze reintroduces herself and then makes it clear that she’ll be back to pursue a romantic interlude.
Lucifer’s K-Pop dealer is his bartender and after Decker questions him, they head to the gang’s headquarters. Turns out Lucifer speaks Korean. Wait, of course he does.
The gang greets him with guns and an amazing fight ensues soundtracked by actual K-Pop band,Â SHINee’s “Lucifer” that ends with Lucifer face-to-face with the gang’s leader, Brandon Hong (Steven Suh, Shameless). Next scene, Hong’s in the police interrogation room, cheerfully confessing to his role in the gang’s extortion and drug-dealing racket.
He isn’t, however, Sandra’s killer. She had stolen from him three years ago, faked her death, and started her new life but, recently, she had contacted him to return the money with interest in order to put the past to rest. He had begged her to come back to the gang because she had been the best drug cook he’d ever had work for him.
When Decker asks about Hong’s cooperativeness, Lucifer reveals that in exchange for Hong’s full testimony, he had given the gang Sandra’s recipes for hangover-free K-Pop tablets.
Thinking that maybe Sandra had begun cooking ecstasyÂ again to make the money she used to pay back the Korean gangsters, Decker opens up the victim’s laptop. When the external hard drive won’t connect, Lucifer literally opens it up by breaking it on the desk, revealing a small pill stash and a threatening note.
Taking it to Pierce/Cain, Decker gets permission to investigate the neighbours. Since she’s already known to the neighbourhood, Lucifer ropes Cain into playing the other half of an undercover couple, new to the suburb. When they greet their first “welcome wagon” visitors, the look on Cain’s face conveys that he’s NEVER wanted to die more.
Espinoza takes Charlotte out on a date and they discuss the intricacies of dating after divorce with kids involved. While Charlotte is remarking on how much she needs normal in her life, Maze reappears to pick up where she left off.
As she has no recollection of her life when she was possessed by Lucifer’s mother, Charlotte wonders if Maze and Espinoza and her might’ve partied together which Espinoza immediately clarifies but then SUPER awkwardly offers to go along with a threesome if that’s what she’s into… Oh, wow. As always, Maze is up for anything. Double wow.
Back at the dinner table, “Mark” and “Luke” are chatting up the neighbours, Brian (Paul Fitzgerald, Rectify) and Anya (Audrey Moore, Better Call Saul) over casserole and Cain takes the opportunity to ask about the community. They are informed that there’s been a “Neighbourhood Watchdog” who has been terrorizing the residents of the block with nasty threatening notes about gardening faux pas and other minutia.
(It’s all extremely reminescent of Shirley Jackson’s short story “The Possibility of Evil” and triggered some harsh high school English class memories for me.)
Back at the restaurant, Charlotte is downing some liquid courage when Maze approaches her again. Confronting her discomfort head-on, Charlotte explains that she’s been having a really tough time adjusting to life after nearly dying and then losing a year of her memory. Maze suddenly realizes that the attraction she has is for Charlotte’s pain and suffering.
Once that’s cleared up for her, Maze walks away, feeling a sense of freedom from her past, leaving Charlotte with a still-riled-up Espinoza.
In suburbia, Decker stakes out the neighbourhood and discusses the “Watchdog” with Lucifer over walkie-talkie while Pierce gets to work cleaning the dinner dishes. When she expresses concern they won’t be able to draw the Watchdog out, Lucifer reassures her that he is the very worst kind of neighbour.
Cut to a montage of jerk-neighbourliness of EPIC proportions. Loud, obnoxious music. Skimpily-clad models. Terrible topiary care. Lucifer trots out all the tricks with nary a glimpse of Cain so when his 4am blade grinding session is interrupted by his “partner” he gets a little annoyed at Cain’s non-participation. They’re too busy arguing to hear Decker warn them over the radio that a suspicious person is heading their way.
She jumps out of her car and shouts for him to stop. Luci and Cain cut off his escape and reveal that it’s Brian, the casserole guy.
Brian confesses to being the Watchdog but denies killing June/Sandra. Far from wanting her to stop selling her homemade Adderall, he was one of her best customers.
Watching the interrogation, Cain and Luci have a domestic squabble and Cain hands his wedding ring back, thinking their assignment is over. Unfortunately, Decker informs them that Brian isn’t their killer and they need to head back to suburbia where they throw a garden party where they’ll use the guest book signatures to find a match to the threatening note in Sandra’s fake hard-drive.
The crowning glory of this riot of an episode is the spat they have at the garden party in front of all the guests, triggered by dips and appy arrangement. Luci storms out after Cain accuses him of not being a man of his word and it’s up to Decker to talk him down and get him to head back in. The contentious couple reunites to the applause of their audience and Luci seals the deal with a big wet one.
Once domestic bliss is re-established, they get down to work collecting guest signatures and writing samples. When they approach Anya, Brian’s wife, Brian quickly intercedes and, when they persist, he grabs a pair of hedge trimmers and warns them off.
Decker approaches and talks Brian into putting down the trimmers, pointing out the he isn’t a killer, he’s just protecting one. She confronts Anya with the murder and Anya confesses that she accidentally killed June/Sandra because she thought June and Brian were having an affair and she didn’t want Brian to leave her.
Brian confesses to taking the Adderall to lose weight so he could be more like the young man Anya fell in love with so she wouldn’t leave him. (Another English 10 flashback: O. Henry’s “Gift of the Magi” anyone?) They reconcile with each other as Decker slaps the cuffs on Anya.
After all the, ahem, coupling this episode presented, we get all the break-ups in the wrap-up. Charlotte confesses to Espinoza that she’s still reeling and messed up from her experiences and not ready for a relationship. He’s his typical sweet self and tells her that he’s willing to wait for her to sort her stuff out.
Chloe approaches the newly-divorced Pierce/Cain and asks him if he’d like to join the other officers for a drink after work. He takes the opportunity to inform her that their relationship is never going to go anywhere. She’s disappointed but stops to point out that they did share a moment and he agrees. “It was a nice moment,” she says quietly as she leaves his office.
Cain joins Lucifer on his balcony in the final scene and they pick each other’s motives apart for a while and then settle into a resigned agreement that they need to work together to achieve their goals. In Cain’s case, that means letting Lucifer have at him with the chainsaw. End scene.
LuciferÂ airs Monday nights at 8pm ET/PT on FOX.
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