Lucifer Gets Dumped When It’s “All About Her” 

The return of our favourite devil is chock-full of amazing little scenes and interactions. In fact, the episode focus shifts so quickly, it’s a little dizzifying.

Picking up where we left off before the hiatus, Pierce/Cain and Lucifer are sharing a drink while the police lieutenant/World’s First Murderer bleeds from the stab wound Lucifer killed him with. Lucifer wants to know why Pierce/Cain is messing with him and Pierce/Cain admits to arranging the kidnapping but says he has nothing to do with Lucifer’s wings and devil face. Lucifer doesn’t believe him. Pierce/Cain doesn’t care and walks out on him.

Meanwhile, Chloe’s still steamed about Lucifer’s selfish and reckless decisions regarding The Sinnerman and takes out some of her ire on Maze who is, of course, practicing her knife throwing in the house, using Trixie’s door as a target.

Luci is his usual oblivious self and shows up at the murder scene of a celebrity surfer, wanting Decker to help him investigate Pierce. She shuts him down pretty hard, making it clear she doesn’t want him around the case at all.

What’s hardest to watch in that first beach crime scene interaction is Ella dealing with Pierce’s harsh reprimand about her chatter. A quiet Ella is truly painful to watch like an injured butterfly or a race car with four flats.

Lucifer runs to Doc Martin with his complaints about Decker’s icy rejection and Linda steers him towards the idea that maybe he should try to focus on her needs instead of his own. He takes that to mean he needs to earn her help in a quid pro quo manner. The good doc doesn’t even try to correct that reasoning.

Charlotte’s on the scene at the police station, reviewing the ideas Decker has come up with on the murder of Manny “The Moondog” Taylor (Justin Johnson Cortez, My Crazy Sex). She notices Ella’s weird not-talky-ness and comments on it. Ella confesses that she was hit hard by Pierce’s verbal tirade and Charlotte advises her to stand up for herself “because no one else will.”

Decker finds Pierce packing up his desk and he explains that he’s put in for a transfer and will be gone soon. She’s surprised and a little hurt.

Meanwhile, Amenadiel finds out he has chlamydia. Yeeeeeeah. Ick.

Honestly, so much of that scene made me laugh out loud while cringing.

“I can’t have chlamydia. I’m an angel.”

LMAO

Lucifer ambushes Decker down at a surf competition where she’s hoping to get close to “Dangerous” Doug Libby (Donny Boaz, Six) and announces he’s making it “Detective Day” and that he will be servicing her every need and whim. She get increasingly frustrated with him until he reveals that he’s signed her up for the competition and procured an access pass for her.

She starts to make headway with Libby when her cover gets blown in a spectacular fashion and he tries to take off with his board (seriously, did he think he was going to SURF his way to freedom?) but gets caught up in what is basically a Luci-leg-hole trap.

Unfortunately, he’s not their murderer (although he’s pretty guilt-ridden over possibly killing a seal) and they turn their investigation on a surfer gang called the Orcas. This puts Epinoza undercover (but shirtless for some time) when he breaks out his surf skillz to purposely get in their way on the waves.

In the meantime, we get to stand up and cheer as Charlotte trots out her now-retired claws and rips Pierce a new one for the way he treated Ella. It was truly beautiful to behold.

Back at Chloe’s house, Maze is being her usual inscrutable yet strangely-endearing self, presenting Linda with a stupid-sharp knife as a present for humouring her request to not bang Amenadiel. Of course, Linda’s really uncomfortable with the gift. Not only because it’s a lethal weapon but because she and Amenadiel have been sleeping together despite Maze’s request.

In a typically awkward manner at the station, Lucifer asks Espinoza for advice on how to win back Chloe’s affections. Espinoza recommends a French Toast breakfast served in bed. Lucifer decides to clean and reorganize her desk, watering her plant with his hip flask in the process. It’s such a train wreck of a good intention… you just can’t look away.

When Ella accidentally lets slip that Pierce is leaving, Lucifer thinks he’s trying to pull a fast one and heads to the sting operation where Espinoza is getting in deep with the Orcas. Pierce/Cain insists the Lucifer do his “thing” and force him to confess his deepest desire.

As it turns out, Pierce/Cain is tired of living and is desperate to die. In his surveillance of celestial beings, he found out that proximity to Decker made Lucifer vulnerable. He thought that if Chloe could make Lucifer bleed, maybe being near her would make Death stick for him.

Of course, it didn’t work and Pierce/Cain is incredibly depressed that he’s still unable to die. Luci’s not exactly sympathetic since he’s still preoccupied with his own issues, ie. wings and face. Unfortunately, Pierce/Cain still has no idea about those and this time, Lucifer believes him.

While Devil and Cain are having their chat, Dan takes on the Orcas, led by Wild Child (Sonya Balmores, Inhumans). By the time Chloe realizes he’s in trouble, he’s told them about Moondog’s murder and they paddle out as a group to mourn his passing. They tell him they’d never kill Moondog and they’d never surf the beach where he was found since the rich home-owners in the area have made it clear that surfers aren’t welcome.

Returning to the station, feeling rather defeated, Decker does NOT feel better when Lucifer presents her new organization system, complete with “Sexy Victims” and “Boring Crimes” file. Conveniently, his Graffiti file flips her mental light-switch and she realizes that the Orca gang tags were on Private Property signs that had been illegally posted.

Very quickly, this leads to their real killer, one of the rich beach-front house owners, Justine Doble (Kate Beahan, Devious Maids) who killed Moondog as a warning to other surfers, not for personal reasons at all. This “means to an end” motive in turn lights Lucifer’s realization that his wings were returned to him in order for him to ruin Pierce/Cain’s plans.

He tracks down Pierce/Cain just as he’s about to leave (after making amends with Ella) and tells him his theory that Dear Old Dad screwed them both over. He offer Pierce/Cain the opportunity to get his own back and his assistance in dying. You could call it Devil-assisted suicide. Hrm.

In other news, Amenadiel does NOT have chlamydia but Linda insists that they end their intimacy for the sake of her friendship with Maze. They kiss one final time and, predicatably, Maze sees this from her spy-table and … well, she armed and angry so, yeah, this is going to get interesting.

It’s a solid romp of an episode. It was great to see Espinoza in a different context. Ella not being Ella was heart-breaking. The Maze-Amenadiel-Linda triangle was rather suspenseful. The case was solved a little perfunctorily but it served its purpose, I guess. I guess my quibble was that it was such an assortment of odds and ends that it felt more like a variety show than a cohesive story.

Amenadiel gets my vote for M.V.P. this week.

“You had sex with my brother, the biggest whore on the planet. How do I know you didn’t give me chlamydia?”

ROFL

Lucifer is BACK(!) and airs Monday nights at 8pm ET/PT on FOX.