The Honeymoon’s Over, Arrow “Lost Souls” 

After discovering the transmission from Ray and learning that he’s alive, Felicity went deep down the rabbit hole, forgoing showers and sleep in an effort to find and save him. And I can hardly blame her. Regardless if she was playing house in Happy Town or home running Palmer Tech, when you find out your dead friend is alive and needs your help, helping him as soon as possible seems like the only option. I mean, who really needs a shower anyway?!

On top of this new-found conundrum and the discovery that Ray has turned in to G.I. Joe, Oliver made a major boyfriend faux-pas by inviting Felicity’s mother to town for a surprise visit. And revealing that they text. And planning a dinner, without asking. Major. Faux-Pas. Don’t get me wrong, moms are great (Hi mom!), but Felicity’s mom is more than a handful and when Felicity already has her hands full trying to save Ray, this is the last thing she needs.

Nevertheless, it isn’t so much her mom showing up in Star City in her pink mini-dress, wanting to go for mani pedis that is the problem. That’s just the straw that broke the camel’s back and forced Felicity to reveal the true problem.

Oliver: Okay, inviting your own mother for a surprise visit wasn’t the best idea. I totally accept that. What I’m not accepting or understanding is you just shutting me out.

Felicity: I am not shutting you out. I’m trying to focus on finding Ray but I can’t do that with all of these distractions.

Oliver: Distractions? What is going on with you? You’re acting like it’s my fault that Ray….

Felicity: It is my fault! What’s happening with Ray, to Ray, is my fault.

Oliver: Felicity, it really isn’t.

Felicity: Ray was sending distress calls for weeks after the accident, I wasn’t here to receive them because I was too busy traveling the world with you. I took the police’s word for it that no body could be recovered because I was so swept up in being with you. I’m sorry. It was my choice to uproot my entire life, to leave my home and my job, which it turns out I am very good at. I lost myself in you and I was never that girl. That girl who just looses herself in a guy. That is not who I am.

Oliver: This isn’t about Ray. It’s about us.

Felicity: No. Yes. I don’t know.

Ugh, this honestly kind of broke my heart.  Yes, things have been different since Felicity and Oliver returned to Star City, but as I’ve said in past articles, their new dynamic, both personally and professionally, seemed to be working. Nevertheless, Felicity is a tough, independent and wickedly smart lady and I love that even though she recognizes how this relationship has changed her, she also takes responsibility for allowing that change to occur.

That being said, she never once says she regrets her decisions. She doesn’t put the blame on Oliver or say she wishes it was different or that they shouldn’t be together. She keeps it focused on her and how she’s allowed herself to get swept up. But so far it seems like they’ve been in the honeymoon phase, so reality had to set in sooner or later. And everyone else on the team has had an identity crisis, so it’s about time she gets her moment too. Nevertheless, regardless of the fact that Oliver has had his own fair share of identity crises, he still took Felicity’s revelation pretty hard.

Diggle: It’s hard to imagine dinner with Felicity and her mom not going well.

Oliver: Donna’s not the problem, I am. Felicity says she’s lost herself in our relationship, which means that she doesn’t know who she is and that if we hadn’t had left Star City when we did, she would’ve been around to help Ray.

Diggle: Meta-humans. Magic. Resurrections. I thought I’d seen it all, but Oliver Queen jealous?

Oliver: Not jealous. I just have to know if Ivy town was as good as it gets for us because since we’ve come back here, everything’s just gotten super complicated and it just makes me wonder why did she choose me?

Diggle: I’ve heard you say a lot of crazy things over the years but that has to be the prize.

Oliver: No, but I mean it. It takes me ten minutes to log in to this thing (points to computer), Felicity does it in 2 seconds and Ray probably invented it.

Diggle: Yea, you’re probably right, except Felicity didn’t choose Ray. She chose you. Sure she has a lot in common with Ray, but sometimes what looks good on paper doesn’t work in real life.

Oliver: What if something happens to him? And we don’t get him back?

Diggle: Felicity Smoak is one of the smartest, most bad-ass women on the planet. She comes through this, she’ll get Ray back.

Oliver: You seem pretty sure.

Diggle: I married a woman just like that. Twice, Oliver. Twice. Look, relationships have their ups and downs, sometimes you just give it a little time and a little space.

Yes, it’s sad that Oliver is questioning his relationship and himself, but if that’s what it takes to get some of the old Oliver/Diggle back, it’s totally worth it because this scene was PHENOMENAL!! I know, this is supposed to be all about Oliver and Felicity, but I have been missing the Oliver/Diggle friendship something fierce since they had their own bromance break-up last season. I’m so glad to see that in his time of need Diggle is still there for Oliver and that old dynamic isn’t entirely lost. Diggle was often the voice of reason and he slid back in to that role with ease. But all jokes about whiskey and jealousy aside, Diggle is right. Felicity is smart and bad-ass and while she and Ray were cute in their quirky, nerdy way, they were never right together and she chose Oliver for a reason.

And as Diggle suggested, time, space and a little girl talk from mom helped Felicity to realize that she’s not the only one who lost part of herself, Oliver did too and that’s only because they found their new selves in each other. Yes, a little (okay, a lot) cheesy but it was what Felicity needed to hear to realize that this change isn’t necessarily bad, it’s just different.

Honestly, as much as I don’t like to see Felicity facing an identity crisis, I do like that the show finally gave us a real-couple issue between these two. I mean, it took long enough for them to get together, but still, it wouldn’t be realistic if it was just clear sailing from here on out. Everyone on Team Green Arrow is working to figure out their new dynamic with all the changes and hitting some hurdles along the way, so it’s only fitting that these two do as well.

Catch next week’s Arrow Wednesday at 8/7c on The CW.