What They Said: Our Favorite Quotes from Parks and Rec â€œMs. April Ludgate-Dwyer Goes to Washingtonâ€ and â€œPie-Maryâ€
This week on Parks and Recreation, April continues to search for her ideal career with the help of Ben, Andy and Ron. Then Leslie causes controversy when she doesnâ€™t sign up for the â€œPie-Maryâ€ with the rest of the congressional candidatesâ€™ wives.
Here are some of the best quotes from â€œMs. April Ludgate-Dwyer Goes to Washingtonâ€ and â€œPie-Mary.â€ Enjoy!
â€œMs. April Ludgate-Dwyer Goes to Washingtonâ€
Ben: Okay well I canâ€™t keep your secret much longer. Any time your name comes up I panic and change the subject to the Twin Peaks reboot until she gets bored.
April: So you talk for one second?
Ron: Creativity is for people with glasses who like to lie.
John McCain: Did anyone ever tell you that your tenacity can be intimidating?
Leslie: Yes, every month of my life since fourth grade. Now, letâ€™s talk about national parks.
Barney: Well, what did she major in? Economics? Accounting?
Andy: She designed her own major: Halloween Studies.
Leslie: Oh, excuse me maâ€™am. Can I borrow your hat? I just want to throw it up in the air victoriously.
Andy: Simple solution. I break into her college and I change her degree to accounting. Easy. On the way out, I look up at the blackboard and what is that? Impossible math equation. I solve it. X=Y, obviously. Professor comes up to me and says, â€˜Iâ€™ve been working on that for 15 years. Why donâ€™t you accept this math trophy.â€™ By the time he turns around and Iâ€™m gone.
Leslie: I keep a local binder maker on retainer in D.C.
Madeline Albright: Wow, Leslie. I havenâ€™t seen you this upset since you almost forget Anneâ€™s half-birthday.
Madeline Albright: Sometimes youâ€™re so focused and driven that you forget about other peopleâ€™s feelings.
Leslie: Name one time that Iâ€™ve done that.
Madeline Albright: Well, you were so wrapped up in your story that you actually ate my waffle.
April: Okay, turn around.
Leslie: What? Why?
April: Because Iâ€™m about to say something serious, and I canâ€™t do it if I have to look you in the eye. Please.
April: Now take your shoes off and wear them like mittens.
April: Okay, sorry. When I started working for you I was aimless and just thought everything was stupid and lame and you turned me into someone with goals and ambition. Which is really the only reason why I even thinking about what I really want. And I just want to say thank you. And I love you very much. Which is why I have decided not to turn you into a sea urchin. Which I could do. Because Iâ€™m an actual witch. With powers.
Leslie: The â€œPie-Maryâ€ is a southern Indiana tradition where congressional candidatesâ€™ wives face off in a pie baking contest. The last contest winner was June Hartwellâ€™s buttermilk meringue. The last contest loser wasâ€¦ all women.
Ron: Itâ€™s an impossible puzzle. And I love puzzles! A minimal unhelpful note. These appear to be human teeth. And what is this? Twilight, New Moon?â€
April: Itâ€™s a movie, but Iâ€™ve never seen it. Itâ€™s like about lame werewolves and vampires and stuff.
Leslie: There is no bigger defender of gender equality than Leslie Knope. And my husband Ben is a progressive champion of womenâ€™s rights.
Ben: Babe, the ovenâ€™s ready. Chop, chop. Time to get baking. Daddy want pie!
Gary: Iâ€™m probably gonna get an ear-full when I get home tonight. Gail might even call me the b-word. Bozo.
Jen: Itâ€™s like taking a shot of tequila. You just gotta force it down, and suddenly the world feels so much more pleasant. I do three shots every time I have to enter this house.
Leslie: Iâ€™m now gonna give you permanent answers to all the silly questions youâ€™re going to end up asking me and every other women in this election over the next few months.
Why did I change my hairstyle? Oh, I donâ€™t know. I just thought it would look better. Or, my kids got gum in it. Are you trying to have it all? That question makes no sense. Itâ€™s a stupid question. Stop asking it. Donâ€™t ask it. Do you miss your kids while youâ€™re at work? Yes. Of course I do everybody does. And then, you know, sometimes I donâ€™t.
Ben: Yeah. And by the way, no oneâ€™s ever asked me that question. No one ever asks me where are your kids or whoâ€™s taking care of them. (By the way, who is taking care of the kids today?)
Parks and Recreation airs Tuesdays at 8/7c on NBC.
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