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What They Said

What They Said: Favorite Quotes from Happy Endings “She Got Game Night” 

Photo Credit: ABC/Richard Cartwright
Photo Credit: ABC/Richard Cartwright

Happy Endings “She Got Game Night”

Writer: Brian Gallivan

Brad: “I think there’s glass in my Senior Mints. And my Sophomore Mints.”

Dave: “Guys, this chef I know really likes my truck – don’t look surprised – and he offered me a job at Knife.”

Alex: “Dave congratulations. I love that restaurant. They have a lot of food there.”


Dave: “I love being my own boss, but owning a food truck’s a lot of pressure. Maybe it’s time I tried my hand at the stationary restaurant game.”

Penny: “You mean the restaurant game?”

Jane: “Making lists is my number one turn on after tables of contents, recipe conversions – oh my God I’m making a list. I am so turned.”

Brad: “And I can review your financials without becoming aroused. Who am I kidding? I had me at review.”

Penny: “Do you even know what on the fence means?” 

Alex: “What?”

Photo Credit: ABC/Richard Cartwright
Photo Credit: ABC/Richard Cartwright

Jane: “Now, I’m sorry, I’m not hearing the bitchy part and my bitch-dar is pretty rock solid. You are not fooling me, one-armed surfer girl.”

Max: “I’m not great at reading signals or understanding basic human contact, but all the lady sounds she was making seemed pretty nice.”


Penny: “‘Whirlwind romance?’ Subtext: You’re moving too fast you clingy tramp. We’re moving at the perfect pace.”


Jane: “Ok, slow it down Jackie Joyner Crazy.”


Max: “I thought we weren’t gonna do couples game nights anymore after…The Jane.”


Max: “Ugh, what a nightmare. I wouldn’t be caught dead at that stupid game night.” 

Jane: “Good ’cause you’re not invited. Couples only.”

Max: “Dead or alive I will be at that game night.”


Dave: “Disaster alert! My psychic Tammy moved to Arizona. Now how am I supposed to decide what to do about this job?”

Alex: “Can she just advise you over the phone?”

Dave: “She has to read my energy in person. Don’t you know how science works?”

Alex: “Hey hey. You know I don’t.”


Alex: “If we can put a man on the moon, I’m pretty sure we can put a Chico’s in the clouds.”


Penny: “I mean we’re just here to have fun and win and have fun by winning.”

Pete: “Ok.”

Penny: “Ok then it’s settled. We’ll stop at nothing to win. And I’m so glad we bought this bottle of Merlot and it’s my favorite and you should know that in case it comes up in there.”


Jane and Brad: “Winners win and losers lose and alcoholics they just booze and they win at drinking that’s their thing but our thing’s just winning. We’re Brad and Jane let’s start the game.”


Max: “Look at what the cat dragged in. I know you didn’t want me at your little couples game night, but what you didn’t count on was the extent of my loneliness. So I am here with my buddy Scotty. Is he straight? Yeah. Is he crazy? Oh, most definitely. But does he do an amazingly spot on Condoleezza Rice impression? No, he does not.”


Max: “What are you, stalking me?”

Scotty: “We prefer the term Obsessive American.”

Photo Credit: ABC/Richard Cartwright
Photo Credit: ABC/Richard Cartwright

Jane: “Hey, forgetti and meatballs. Jason Bourne called and he says he remembers more stuff than you.”

Brad: “Early on I realized that what turns you on the most is people agreeing with you. And you know I likes my sex. Loves me some smoosh.”


Brad: “This Brad’s still fresh.”

Jane: “Are you?”

Brad: “Fresh to death.”


Ann: “My name’s not Ann. It’s Magic Ann.”

Alex: “Magic Ann? Really? Your mom named you that?”


Ann: “You know what, I’m done. I can’t help you. This is all fake anyway.”

Alex: “It doesn’t take a rocking scientist to see that.”


Alex: “We’ll go when we’re good and ready. Which is now ’cause I’ve been ready to go for quite some time.”


Brad: “What? I’ll kill him. Did he cheat? On you? On a test? On his diet? Of course he didn’t. I mean, look at the guy. He’s a knockout.”


Brad: “My favorite color is you.”

Jane: “That made no sense, but I love it. And it’s green from now on.”

Photo Credit: ABC/Richard Cartwright
Photo Credit: ABC/Richard Cartwright

Dave: “So what you’re saying is that I have been my own psychic all along.”

Penny: “I’m so sorry. And I’m even sorrier that my friends are watching from the deck.”

Happy Endings airs Fridays and 8/7c and 8:30/7:30c on ABC.

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