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Scandal “Snake in the Garden” + ScRant of the Week 

Photo Credit: Danny Feld/ABC

One of my favorite aspects of ABC’s Scandal are all those diatribes, speeches and declarations the characters unleash on each other, on unsuspecting politicos and on their clients. It’s become an art form that each actor clearly relishes. Here, we call them ScRants — or Scandal Rants. In “Snake in the Garden” there were a few to choose from. Hollis’ daughter was on the business end of an Olivia Pope ScRant. But my favorite has to be when Mellie not-so-gently breaks the news to Fitz that he’s a mess. And tells him why his kids don’t want to visit him. Our ScRant of the week comes courtesy of “Snake in the Garden” writer Raamla Mohamed and actress Bellamy Young.

Photo Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABC

Mellie: You are different. You are different. Ever since…(sighs). You’re different. And they are not babies. They are not Teddy. They are teenagers and they know their father’s not their father.

Fitz: I am their father!

Mellie: You stink like scotch. They can smell it on your skin all of the time. You are lubricated all of the time now which makes you mean. You’re mean, Fitz. Karen hates tennis and you know that!  You used to make it fun and funny for her. The last time they were here, you yelled at her the entire time she played. And when you weren’t forcing her to play tennis, you were firing political questions at her. And Jerry — he is shy and he is gentle and you know that. And now…(sigh). He’s afraid of you. It’s you. You’re different. And maybe I’m cold. And maybe I don’t have the mother gene. And maybe a thousand other things that make me such a horrible, villainous bitch in your book. But in Jerry and Karen’s book, I’m still their mom. I haven’t changed. It’s you. You’re not their father anymore. And it’s not because you found out about Defiance. That’s the thing that is so…(sighs) It’s because you found your precious Olivia doesn’t have the secrets of the universe tucked between her magical thighs. That she is just a person like everybody else. And that she is capable of using you just like everybody else and suddenly you’re devastated and you stopped being their father. Your’e not their father anymore. And you’re not Fitz anymore. You know who you are? You know who you’ve become? You’re Big Jerry. You’re your father. Everybody in this White House — Cyrus and me included — tiptoe around, trying to figure out how to get on your good side. But you don’t have a good side! You’ve turned into your father. So…you should understand how your children feel…considering how much you hated your dad. They didn’t want to come. And so I told them they didn’t have to. Deal with it. Put another glass of scotch on top of it and just…deal with it.

Just wow. That was well over two minutes long right there. Bellamy Young (Mellie) can ScRant it up like no other. How did she get through all that with such conviction and emotion? Poor Fitz didn’t know what hit him. And Mellie kept piling it on. By the time she got to comparing him to his awful father, I was ready for Fitz to ask for a break so he could compose himself again. He needed to hear some of that. He has been mean. And he’s been drinking a lot. Remember, it’s been over a year since he found out about Defiance. And he’s still playing the victim. He hasn’t let forgiveness into his heart yet. Maybe Mellie’s speech will serve as a wake-up call.

Guest Star Goodness

Synopsis for “Snake in the Garden”: The team find themselves working for the devil when Hollis Doyle’s daughter is kidnapped and held for ransom. Meanwhile, David is still in danger and is forced to seek shelter at Pope & Associates; Olivia and Jake take their flirtatious relationship to the next level even as the President continues to rely on Jake for intel; in the White House, Cyrus will stop at nothing to get back into the President’s good graces; and Mellie’s claws come out when she tells Fitz he needs to make some changes.

That was Andrea Bowen playing Hollis’ no good, spoiled brat of a daughter who kidnapped herself. And cut off her ear in order to extract a cool 20 mil from her ass of a daddy. She had no problem choosing money over family. Hope that girl doesn’t come to regret it. Although with Hollis as a father, I don’t think I’d come to regret it anytime soon. I felt bad for the mother though. Anyway, Bowen’s best known for playing Teri Hatcher’s daughter, Julie, on ABC Desperate Housewives.

Photo Credit: Danny Feld/ABC

The actress playing Hollis’ ex-wife also has a few Desperate Housewives episodes on her TV resume. Melinda McGraw played Tom’s ex-girlfriend in season 1. On Mad Men, McGraw’s character, Bobbie Barrett, had an affair with Don Draper. And she’s played Diane, the bitchy ex-wife of both Gibbs and Fornell, in a couple of episodes of NCIS. Plus, she’s done stints on Men of a Certain Age, The West Wing, Harry’s Law and Ben and Kate.

How good was it to see Joe Morton? Well, for me it was great, because he’s an awesome actor. But for Fitz or for Olivia, they might not want to see him anytime soon. We have no idea who this guy is. All we do know is he has something to do with Jake. At a clandestine meeting between Jake and Morton’s character they  talk about something being done and about the police believing it’s a suicide, which means they’re talking about the CIA head who had just been found dead in his car.

Mystery Guy: I have to say, it was staged perfectly.

Jake: “And now everyone thinks that Osbourne is the mole. Or was.

Who are these guys? I love how off the charts crazy this show is. And I’m really glad Morton is joining in on all the cray cray. He’s a vet of stage, TV and film. But let’s just talk about some of his small screen credits. Most recently he was in a mini-series called Coma and he wrapped up a series regular role on Syfy’s Eureka where he played the super intelligent Dr. Henry Deacon for five seasons. Morton has also appeared on The Good Wife, Law & Order, Smallville and A Different World.

Other thoughts.

  • Abby and Harrison have such good friend chemistry. It was good to see some of that still existing between them considering what went down between them in the last episode.
  • I continue to worship all things Huckleberry Quinn. She’s his apprentice. And it’s so cool. This development revitalized the Quinn character for me. And I loved when Huck got her her own  family to observe. Yeah, this is another good friendship.
  • Even though Jake is being so cute with Olivia, 1. I’m glad she’s not over Fitz. One mere mention of his name makes her an utter mess. 2. Jake is so incredibly sexy. I mean shady. What’s up with this guy? I can’t wait to find out his story.
  • I know Pope & Associates was helping Hollis and he was otherwise preoccupied with his daughter’s “kidnapping,” but I really wanted to see a Quinn/Hollis conversation about what he did to her.
  • Love that David was bunking at Olivia’s business digs as well. It’s my theory that he’ll eventually join the firm. So small steps…

Scandal airs Thursdays at 10/9c on ABC.


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