What They Said: Favorite Quotes from The Vampire Diaries “Because the Night” 

Episode: “Because the Night”
Writers: Brian Young & Charlie Charbonneau

Guy: “You’re that serial killer, aren’t you? The Son of Sam.” Damon: “The son of Giuseppe. But close enough.”

Elena: “You dragged me all the way to New York because you were feeling nostalgic?’ Damon: “No. I dragged you to New York because in a matter of three days, you managed to piss everyone off in Mystic Falls. A  little more difficult to do in a city of millions.” Elena: “I was hungry.”

Damon: “That’s the beauty of New York. There’s so much life, that a little death goes unnoticed.”

Stefan: “Wait. What do you mean you took her to New York?” Damon: “And that tone is the reason I didn’t pick up the phone the first 20 times you called.” Stefan: “Where is she now?” Damon: “Out exploring. Maybe she’s eating a hot dog…vendor.”

Klaus (to Caroline): “Well then…you showed me.”

Klaus: “Tyler made it his life’s mission to kill me. You can’t hate me for driving him away.” Caroline: “No, I can. And I do. Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to get back to spiraling so go away.”

Elena: “I was promised hedonism.” Damon: “Well, it’s early. Hedonism isn’t a big fan of the sunlight.” Elena: “Or soap.” Damon: “Easy, judgy. Not everybody got a hot new haircut today.”

Elena: “You got Lexied?”

Rebekah: “I have to say I’m a little hurt, Damon. I thought we made a good team. Not without its fireworks, but what classic pairing isn’t?”

Damon: “How does it feel to be wrong all the time? I brought Elena here to feed. I mean, Mystic Falls isn’t exactly Vamp Xanadu right now.”

Damon (to Lexi): “ So Stefan sent you. Hmm…I thought we were on the off part of our endless on-again off-again eternity-of-misery cycle.”

Lexi: “So why’d you flip it? What traumatic event was too much for Damon Salvatore to handle?” Damon: “Leave it to Beaver. The ‘50s bored me.”

Rebekah: “Wow, she sounds dreadful.” Lexi: “She had a Mother Theresa complex.”

Elena: “So let me guess. After many dark nights with Lexi, she convinced you to turn your emotions back on. And that’s exactly what you plan to do with me.” Damon: “You read the last page of the book first, too? I’m gonna get a drink. Many drinks.”

Elena: “I know he’s after the cure. I’m not stupid.” Rebekah: “Let’s not say things we don’t mean.”

Rebekah: “You’re playing him.” Elena: “No, he’s playing me. I’m just returning the favor.”

Stefan: “If Shane really was working with Silas, chances are he was helping him plan his next move.” Caroline: “Where? On his evil villain to-do list? Steal blood, perform three massacres, pick up dry cleaning?” Klaus: “Actually, not to nitpick, but we evil villains usually use minions to pick up our dry cleaning, that sort of thing. Caroline: “Why is he necessary again?”

Klaus: “Don’t underestimate the allure of darkness, Stefan. Even the purest hearts are drawn to it. Still, I’m sure it will all be fine.”

Caroline: “Humans…that was the Council fire. Demons…Klaus’ hybrid failure.” Klaus: “Well, I wouldn’t exactly call it a failure…”

Damon: “Ugh, pack rat.”

Elena: “Work together. Don’t you hate me?” Rebekah: “I hated the moral, self righteous version of you, but this one’s not so bad. Maybe it’s your new haircut.”

Elena: “The best part of having no emotions is that I can think rationally. I’ll do whatever it takes to get this done. You’re the opposite…a pile of neuroses, insecurities, hopes and dreams. You’re basically one big emotional variable that I just don’t really need.” Rebekah: “You just made me miss the old Elena.”

Caroline: “There’s been two massacres. Pastor Young’s farm is here. And the old Lockwood cellar, where you spitefully slaughtered 12 of your own hybrids, is here.”

Klaus: “Somebody’s been skipping their geometry classes.”

Damon: “So Silas is appearing as Professor Shane. Wouldn’t be my first choice.”

Damon: “And that, brother, is why you are the better boyfriend.”

Damon: “Got to keep up the ruse for the terrible twosome outside. Pretend like I’m having a good time.”

Elena: “Let me guess. He’s worried.” Damon: “Jealous mainly. He’s having acid flashbacks of me and Lexi in the seventies in New York.”

Elena: “You and Lexi? Here? On the bar?” Lexi: “On the bar…on the stage…on the roof…it was a very long night.”

Rebekah: “Excuse you.”

Caroline: “Do you even know how to read a map?” Klaus: “Yes. And do you know who taught me? My friend Magellan.” Caroline: “Wow. You had a friend.”

Caroline: “There is no allure to darkness.” Klaus: “Really? So you’ve never felt the attraction that comes when someone who’s capable of doing terrible things for some reason cares only about you?” Caroline: “I did once when I thought he was worth it. But it turns out some people can’t be fixed. People who do terrible things are just terrible people.”

Elena: “I’ve never done it on a rooftop before.” Damon: “You’re not missing much.”

Damon: “Did you really think that was gonna work? The sex, the temptation, the booze? Are you kidding me? I invented that trick.”

Elena: “Aw, I hurt your feelings.” Damon: “Not my feelings. I’m looking out for you because one day you will flip that switch back on and all the bad stuff that you did is gonna come rushing back and it is going to suck.”

Rebekah: “What was that you said about handling things yourself?”

Caroline: “I just killed 12 people.” Klaus: “Hey. Hey. You look like you’re in need of comfort…why don’t you find someone less terrible you can relate to?”

Rebekah: “Sorry, Damon.  I think I broke your radio.” Damon: “Your’e in my car? Elena: “Heh, we weren’t gonna take the bus. “I wish that this could have gone differently. I really do. But we’ll give Katherine your best.”

The Vampire Diaries airs Thursdays at 8/7c on the CW.