What They Said: Favorite Quotes from Supernatural “LARP and the Real Girl” 

Episode: “LARP and the Real Girl”
Writer: Robbie Thompson

Dean; “You remember fun, don’t you Sammy?”

Sam (on the phone to Garth): “Look, it’s bad enough that you’re tracking us, but it’s even worse when you say, ‘we’ve been Garth’d.'”

Sam: “Working a case. As long as we’re waiting on Kevin, that’ll be our fun.”

Sheriff: “You guys are quick. Haven’t even got the body out yet.” Dean: “Well, the FBI is all work…no play.”

Sheriff: “He lived alone which is a real shocker considering his place is full of toys.”

Sam: “So…anything missing from the body?” Sheriff: “You mean, aside from the arms and legs? No…all there — twigs and berries too.”

Sheriff: “We didn’t find any hoofprints. She probably heard a TV or was having a bad dream or…she was high as balls.”

Sheriff: “These kids today with their texting and murder.”

Lance: “No, I mean, they were from me but they weren’t from me, me.” Dean: “Did you really think that sentence was gonna clear things up?”

Dean: “Right. Larping. Good times.”

Lance: “He was Lancelot to my Merlin.”

Dean: “Now, when you say ‘wands’ do you mean magic wands?” Lance: “No, un-magic wands, Agent. Because what I really want in a duel is a an un-magic wand. Yes! Fake wands! It’s a game! Oh, I can’t believe it. Oh ye gods! Thargrim the Difficult has fallen!”

Dean: “Hang in there, champ.”

Dean: “This could be 50 Shades of Greyfox for all we know.”

Sam: “Welcome to Moondoor, Michigan’s largest Larping game.” Dean: “And I thought we needed to get out more.”

Sam: “There’s our guy.” Dean: “Huh. It actually looks kind of awesome.”

Sheriff: “God forbid he was contagious. I’m gonna go dip myself in hand sanitizer.”

Sam: “You recognize it from anything?” Dean: “Tim Burton movie?”

Dean: “Uh, you are a Larper, yeah?” Gerry: “I prefer the term interactive literaturist.”

Gerry/Boltar: “Uh, guys, we’re not doing the whole genre mash-up thing this weekend. We only do that every third month.”

Squire wannabe: “I love you.” Queen of Moons (Charlie): “I know.”

Charlie: “Oh, blerg.”

Charlie: “What am I some kind of monster magnet? Is there such a thing as a monster magnet? You know what? Don’t answer that.”

Charlie: “So, I’m dropping my sword and walking off the stage, bitches.”

Sam: “But the medical examiner said his body showed clear signs that he was killed by belladonna.” Dean & Charlie (at the same time): “The porn star?” Sam: “The poison.”

Charlie: “OK, I’m gonna need a full wiki of where you guys have been, but first, you’re gonna have to ditch the suit if you’re gonna walk and talk with the queen.”

Charlie: “You sent Sam a phantom text from his ex? Dick move, sir.” Dean: “Yeah, not my finest hour.”

Charlie: “Are we still talking about Sam? Or did you break up with someone, too.” Dean: “Me?” Charlie: “Yeah.” Dean: “No.”

Charlie: “But a buddy of mine was into larping. Went for him, stayed for the chicks.”

Dean (to Charlie): “Out there in the real world? You are a hero.”

Dean: “I’m noticing a lot of these maidens checking you out.” Charlie: “What? I can’t shut this down. It’s good to be queen.”

Maria: “Genre mash-up. Cool.”

Dean: “What? Well, there’s no laptops in Moondoor. There’s no Geneva Convention either.”

Maria: “First time for a lot of things, if you want to come by my tent later.” Sam: “Another time.”

Charlie (points to Dean): “This is my new…handmaiden.”

Dean: “He’s right, your worshipfulness. May I have a moment before you take your leavings?”

Dean: “Handmaiden?” Charlie: “He was suspicious. I panicked.” Dean: “All right, look, you take my phone. Find Sam. We’ll find the Shadow dorks.”

Dean: “Lead the way to the Orcs, Bolty.” Boltar: “Speak when spoken to, handmaiden.”

Boltar: “For a handmaiden, you certainly ask many questions.”

Dean: “Draw him up and beat him down. I like your style, Boltar.”

Sam (to Dean):  “Nice outfit.” Dean: “You love it.” Sam: “Right.”

Dean: “Our pal, uh Boltar the chatty is, uh, getting the Shadow Orc prisoner. We’re gonna do a little prisoner exchange, try to draw the king out of hiding…it was my idea.”

Charlie: “Great costume, b-t-dubs.”

Charlie: “Look, I am not really a queen. I’m just an I.T. girl, standing in front of a monster asking it not to kill her…”

Monty: “Look, I harbor an epic crush on the queen. If you could put in a good word for me when you find her.”

Dean: “I don’t think you’re her type.” Monty: “What? You mean she’s not into Orcs?”

Gilda: “I’m a fairy.” Charlie: “Mm…swoon.”

Charlie: “Gilda, my name is Charlie Bradbury. And I am here to rescue you.”

Charlie: “Dudes, if the tent is rockin’ don’t come a knockin’.”

Gerry/Boltar: “Would a loser track down a real book of spells and compel a fairy to do his bidding?” Sam: “Depends. How’d you get it?” Boltar: “eBay.”

Charlie: “Hey Gerry. I’m the one who saves damsels in distress around here.”

Charlie: “Call me? Maybe?”

Dean (to Charlie): “And you, uh, you’re good?” Charlie: “Apart from the fact that you blocked me from banging a fairy. And I’m about to go lose my crown in battle thanks to my army being decimated? Yeah, totally good. Smell you later bitches.”

Sam: “And you’re right, having fun won’t help me. It’ll help both of us. Shall we?”

Dean: “And dying in your beds, many years from now. Would you be willing to trade all the days. From this day to that, for one chance…” Charlie: “Is that the speech from…” Sam: “It’s the only one he knows.” Dean: “Just one chance to come back here. And tell our enemies that they may take our lives. But they will never take…” Larper: “Hold.” Man with Frisbee: “Uh, my bad. Sorry.” Dean: “…our freedom!!!”

The End Copy: “This episode is dedicated to the men, women, elves, demigods, magi, druids and chamber potservants who gave their lives fighting and winning for the Queen of Moons in the Battle of the Kingdoms. go bravely into the next world, fallen soldiers.”

Supernatural airs Wednesdays at 9/8c on the CW.