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What They Said

What They Said: Favorite Quotes from Archer “Fugue and Riffs” 

Photo Credit: FX
Photo Credit: FX

Episode: “Fugue and Riffs”

  • “We are nut rubbers.” “Oh my God. Ok, yes you can rub them but just please don’t hurt my family.” “He mean we not robbers.” “Oh well. Then what do you want?”
  • “Were you speaking Russian?” “Was I? I don’t even know any… Russian! Look the label in his coat has those idiot Russian letters.”
  • “… I’m gonna find out who this Archer jerk is and why Russian people want him dead. I’m also probably gonna do a spa weekend. You know between work and being a stepdad to Gene and Louise and um yeah. Anyway, I’m just burned out.”
  • “Where is he now?” “At a spa according to his, um, wife.” “His what?”
  • “According to my clinical research on drug induced amnesia-” “Said the fake scientist.” “Mmmm. And what are your parent’s names?” “Wha? There names are…um…uh. Dammit it Krieger. Did you drug me?”
  • “We have to ease him back into it like a latex gimp suit.” “And how do you suggest we do that?” “Well some people use baby powder but I’m a firm believer in corn starch.” “Not the gimp suit! Sterling’s amnesia.” “Oh yes. I have a plant. Plant. Plan.”
  • “I want it on record that I think this is a terrible plan.” “Duly notes and disregarded.”
  • “Guys. Fake mustache yay or nay?” “Yay.” “Yeah, it works right? My face isn’t naturally villainous like yours so-“
  • “What’s up your butt?” “Nothing is up my butt, Cyril. Oh. Or maybe there is. I wouldn’t know because I’m paralyzed from the waist down and it’s Archer’s fault.” “Oh. Getting some mileage out of that, huh?”
  • “Sour mix in a margarita? What is this? Auschwitz?”
  • “Five ingredients. Tequila, Cointreau, lime juice, ice, kosher salt. Oh and sorry about the Auschwitz crack. That’s… that’s not like me. I’ve been under a lot of stress lately.” “I’m not Jewish.” “Did I ask for your life story?”
Photo Credit: FX
Photo Credit: FX
  • “No seriously. I’m like Chuck Norris-esque.”
  • “I I’m not gonna hit you.” “Oh why? Is your vagina bothering you?”
  • “Did you just say gay-GB?” “Oh, do you think it’s the mustache?” “It’s not helping.”Well neither are you so-” “To reiterate I am paralyzed.” “Well join a support group.” “For who? Crippled gay hillbilly spies?”
  • “Man this spy stuff is awesome. And I bet I’d be totally awesome at it so is ISIS hiring or…” “No.”
  • “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph Stalin. For the last time a**holes, my name is-“
  • “If I’m KGB why is the KGB shooting at me?” “Internal power struggle?”
  • “What the hell is that sound?” “Hamilton Beach 727 Drinkmaster. And, uh, speaking of drinks.” “These aren’t to drink dumba**. I’m gonna make Molotov cocktails.” “Not with Irish cream you’re not.”
  • “Krieger we need suppressing fire.” “We’re shooting blanks duh.” “They don’t know that. Duh.” “Burn. Inappropriate.”
  • “His mind-brain to permanently rejecting his real identity.” “Mind-brain?” “That’s a thing. Shut up.”
Photo Credit: FX
Photo Credit: FX
  • “Bob, honey, I need you to get down.” “Yes down to the store for cheese for the Emile Gorganzola burger.” “Ok, I have had it.” “Well, not with the j’accuse cumber.”
  • “What part of this are you not getting?” “Core concept?”
  • “Oh, Ron! Thank you for coming so quickly.” “Phrasing. First. Boom.”
  • “Barry, are we losing our minds? Could be, other Barry. Could be. ‘Cause even though I can see Archer’s every frickin move apparently it’s impossible to kill that idiot from frickin space. So where are we on the frickin space ship to get me home?”

Archer airs Thursdays at 10/9c on FX.

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1 Comment

  1. jack mauer

    what did he mean: plant, plant? plan.

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