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The Vampire Diaries “The Five” 

Photo Credit: Annette Brown/The CW

It’s a combo “take your vampire to college” and flashback happy episode this week. Caroline and Tyler sit out the proceedings but everybody else has a part to play–even (old school) Elijah! And Bonnie still can’t pick new friends for sh-t.

So, Klaus has Connor trussed up and Damon figures that out when Liz tells him there’s no body. Since he’s already committed to take Elena along for Bonnie’s campus visit, he dispatches Stefan to find out what’s what. Stefan agrees after they have a little boundary-setting discussion about Damon and Elena’s road trip.

The road trip is supposed to be to fetch Grams’ office contents from her replacement prof (took him a while) and Damon has gleefully suggested the student body as ripe for the picking and drinking. Bonnie’s not exactly down with it but she tells Elena that since she can’t spell away her blood lust this will have to do.

After an initial weenie-ing out, Damon takes the girls to a murder-themed frat party and pretty soon Elena and Damon are drinking their way around the room. Elena is fairly giddy and free and happy and Damon jumps right in to dance with her and then Bonnie casts her disapproving glare across the room and Elena reverts to sad, mortified “I can’t believe I did that.”

Bonnie befriends Professor Hottie, who’s tantalizingly attuned to all the supernatural whatnot and we learn pretty quickly there’s a reason for that. And it’s not a good one.

On the home front, Klaus catches Stefan in the holding room with Connor and tells him that Rebekah is the key to what they need to know about The Five so he sends Stefan to fetch her, and again, Stefan is agreeable.  He finds her at the Grill, attempting to mollify Matt with a new truck (yes!). And she’s meeting April so Stefan hilariously mesmers her while they chat.

Rebekah goes along with Stefan to see Klaus and they bitch and banter and feign a meal and we get the back story that in the 1100s, The Five were forged by the uberwitch as master vampire hunters. Klaus and Elijah, rocking some serious medieval tresses, assign Rebekah to get close to one of them, Alexander, and she goes above and beyond and takes him as a lover until he realizes what she is and stabs her (en flagrante–rude!) and the rest of the Mikaelsons.

Photo credit: Annette Brown/The CW

Klaus then kills Alexander and the rest of The Five. Back in the present, Klaus bad cops Rebekah into confiidng in Stefan that the secret the Five kept was a cure for vampirism, which given the history of this show, could very well turn out to be a big, fat McGuffin. That’s all Stefan needs to hear to buy in, because in his mind it makes a mortal life with Elena a very real possibility.

Klaus takes the info, daggers Rebekah (again) and sets off to retreive the magical sword that’s the key to reading the tattoo map. Connor chats with Jeremy while Jeremy (under hybrid duress and sans his ring) draw his tat and it’s not totally clear who’s actually in charge there. Later Connor breaks free and hightails it to…Professor Hottie, demanding to know why he was sent to Mystic Falls, and Hottie snides that they do have a vampire problem.

And that’s our wind up. I’m sorry to see Rebekah go after she shows some humanity in admitting to Stefan that she envies his love with Elena, but she’ll be back soon enough. I’m also ready for present-day Elijah.

As for Elena, I like that they’re shading her struggle to figure out how to be a vampire but I’m not necesssarily aligned to the idea that A must be Bad and B must be Good. I hope there’s a C for Caroline in there. She’s the model, as Stefan said last week.  Let’s get her in a room with Elena to sort things out. If she’s going to have to drink live people, let’s see her find a balance there.

The Vampire Diaries is on Thursdays as 9 pm/8c on The CW. If you missed “The Five,” you can catch it at

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