What They Said: Favorite Quotes from The Vampire Diaries “The Five” 

Episode: “The Five”
Writers: Brett Matthews & Rebecca Sonnenshine

• “You know for a fact that he was supernatural?” “Definitely not natural.”

• “Liz Forbes, my favorite sheriff.”

• “I can’t tell you. It’s private. We’re in a fight.” “You’re in a fight. I’m not in a fight. I’m over it. I’ve been over it.” “You’re not still mad at me about Elena?” “You let her feed on you. I’m always going to be mad at you. But we’re not in a ‘fight.'”

• “I’m going to need you to get on this today I have to take Elena to college.” “I’m sorry, you have to do what, exactly?” “I’m teaching her how to feed. She needs to learn snatch, eat, erase, now more than ever. Aah — we’re not in a fight, remember?”

• “Listen to me, you’re the one that’s getting me through this. No matter who teaches me how to feed.”

• “You’re disgusting.” “I know.”

• “What is this guy, a witchepedia?”

• “Geeky girls are inherently suspicious of anyone who’s nice to them.”

• “I was just saying how much I love witches.” “Yeah, you and me both, brother.”

• “I was gonna take him but I figured you went through such trouble to truss him up in your red room of pain.” “It’s from The Inquisition. I thought it was a nice touch.”

• “So what’s up with the home invasion?”

• “I was feeling benevolent.” “You’re never benevolent.”

• “You two are friends?” “Is it so hard to believe I would have one?” “Yeah it is.”

• “Hey, off limits. I have dibs.”

• “Everybody is someone’s uncle or father or camp counselor or bible study teacher. Elena, you don’t know these people. Why do you care?” “I care because I’m still me. I still have the same feelings, Damon. Sorry if that spoils your master plan to turn me into a super vampire.

• “What’s going on?” “Nothing. Elena’s educating me on the importance of feelings.”

• “Oh, nice. The answer to all of our problems. A frat party. Douche central. Which is why you’ll be eating very well tonight. So what should we go as? Victims? Or killers?

• “I could kiss the Council for burning up all of the vervain in town. They’ve made my life so much easier. Rebekah, love, eat your veggies.”

• “You broke my neck.” “You threw away Elena’s blood so I can’t make any more hybrids.” “Because you took me for granted.” “That’s what big brothers do, sweetheart.”

• “Let me just name the million other people I’d rather be having dinner with right now.”

• “I’m Jack. And these are the two lovely ladies I just rippered.”

• “Well, hats off to these idiots. Oh, look, Professor Creepy.”

• “Inebriated sleazeballs all covered in blood. Come on, pick one.”

• “I think I found one.” “Roofie guy?” “Hmm…mmm.” “Nice choice. Go get ’em.”

• “I want more.”

• “Cheers. To my sister’s uncanny ability to choose men.”

• “We have the map, what do we do next?” “We don’t do anything. You can’t be trusted, little sister. You’ll be blabbing this secret to the first boy who calls you ‘pretty.’ I mean, it’s pathetic. Really, isn’t it? How she continues to hand her heart to any man who shows her a hint of affection. You’d think she would have learned by now from the endless cycle of disappointment and deception.”

• “You can call it a deal with the devil if you like. But you know you won’t walk away from it.”

• “She is a different person. She’s a vampire. We’re a predatory species. We enjoy the hunt, the feed and the kill. When the guilt gets too bad, we switch off our humanity and we revel in it.”

• “Is that what you want? Her to be like you?” “She already is like me. And you know what makes me able to drink my fill and leave someone breathing and not rip their head off like my brother? Is that I can revel in it. I can make it fun.”

• “If it meant that I got to be with her; have children; grow old with her. If it meant that we’d die together, be buried together, then yes, I’d take that cure.”

• “No one must know about the cure, do you understand? Not Damon. Not Elena. Nobody.”

• “It’s just you and me in this, Stefan. Some secrets are stronger than family.”

• “You don’t want to be like me.”

• “I don’t think I’m going to survive this.”

• “Shouldn’t you be in Mystic Falls killing vampires?” “Why the hell did you send me there?”

The Vampire Diaries airs Thursdays at 8/7c on the CW.