What They Said: Favorite Quotes from True Blood Season 5 Finale “Save Yourself” 

[WARNING SPOILERS FOR THE SEASON 5 FINALE!!! IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED, DO NOT READ]

Episode: “Save Yourself”
Writer: Alan Ball

• “Oh, f–k.” “Well, that felt even better than I thought it would.”

• “What is she?” “She’s a waitress.”

• “She’s my progeny, Nora. She’s family.”

• “Oh, by the way, she’s family, too. So be nice to her.”

• “Something funny, fanger?” “Yes, bloodbag.” “Leach.” “Breather.” “Dead f–k.” “Meat sack.” “Stop acting like children.”

• “OK, but I’m coming with you.” “Oh, sweetie, don’t be a fool.” “If I wanna be a fool I will be a fool. That is my god-given right as an American.”

• “One of the worst things about being immortal is having to watch the same stupid scenario happen over and over. It’s usually the humans though. Guess this proves we’re just as f–king retarded as they are.”

• “Must all roads lead to f–king Sookie?”

• “Maybe there’s something to this religion after all.”

• “I don’t even want to think about how many hours of my life I’ve spent listening to Sam Merlotte’s redneck-ass taste in music. I’m gonna take full advantage of his absence and listen to something decent for a change.” “Oh, all right. Something nasty.”

• “Who knew watching an alien give birth could be so comforting?” “Are you kidding me? It’s always the weird stuff that’s the best.”

• “It’s a girl…with no umbilical cord.”

• “I have no idea what’s happening.” “Who does, baby Jane, who does?”

• “Yeah, well, for a normal red-blooded American human, giving birth ain’t nothing like that.” “Hell, she makes me want to do it.”

• “You’re a d–k.”

• “I did not see that s–t coming.”

• “See what you’ve been missing working for the f–king Authority?”

• “What the f–k are you doing?” “I’m getting you the f–k out of jail, bitch.”

• “Nice plan.” “Sure beats yours.”

• “Do you honestly think that you understand the system that I helped design better than I do?” “Okay, maybe not.”

• “Oh, okay.” “I knew it!”

• “I can’t ever love a vampire. Sorry, I can’t do it.”

• “Hello.”

• “If I ever meant anything to you at all…” “I told you the first night we met. Vampires often turn on those they love the most.” (Bill drinks Lilith’s blood)

• “F–k.” “RUN!!!”

Well, season 5 of HBO’s True Blood is over. I have to say my favorite moment of “Save Yourself” was probably when Tara released Pam from jail and the two celebrated with quite the kiss. Some other finale events: Eric killed Russell Edgington at the beginning of the episode; Jason went all commando against vampires (of course that’s after he started seeing hallucinations of his mama and papa); Alcide is the new packmaster; Andy is now a single father of some human/fairy hybrids; and Bill drank Lilith’s blood. The Chosen One died and was resurrected which is, as we all know, very biblical. I’m anxious to see where this leads next season as Alan Ball steps down as showrunner of his vampire drama. We’re going to see what fresh blood (pun intended) will generate storyline wise — and wonder how the show will differ in Ball’s absence. Until next summer…