
Episode: “Do Not Go Gentle”
Writer: Michael Narducci
- “Look at them all bromancey.”
- “You sure it had nothing to do with witnessing you and Damon getting hot and heavy in a skeevy motel?” “I didn’t tell you that so you could torture me with it.” “Awww…what are friends for?”
- “I can’t ask him out on a date. I just made out with his brother.”
- “I’ve watched ‘The Bachelor.’ OK, fair is fair. It is Stefan’s turn.”
- “I’m sorry, but Stefan is your epic love. And I’m not going down without a fight.”
- “I’m going to the dance and I’d like to go with you.” “Um…I’d love that.”
- “I’m thinking gardenia corsage. Wrist, obviously. You don’t want to accidentally stab her in the chest with a pin. That could get messy.”
- “Don’t do that. It’s not funny.” “Oh, come on. It’s a little funny.” “What do you want, Damon?” “I need medical advice. For a friend. Alaric. You remember him, right? About 6’2.” Tried to hack you into pieces.”
- “So given our dangerous dance karma. Are you sure you’re up for this?” “Getting out of bed is dangerous these days. But we have to live our lives.” “Hmm…who gave you that horrible advice.” “Some guy I used to date said it once or twice.” “Right.”

- “You do not need to be jealous of Klaus.” “I am jealous. But I’m also competitive. So hang on. I’m about to sweep you off your feet.”
- “I blacked out for most of this decade, remember?”
- “I don’t need to know, Elena. When all this is over, if you and I find our way back to each other, you can tell me if you want to. Otherwise, I don’t need to know. I don’t want to know.” “How can you be so fair about this?” “Because after everything I’ve put you through? I’m just honored to be your date tonight.”
- “Sorry to spoil your seven minutes in heaven. We have a problem.”

- “Come on. One dance. I won’t bite.”
- “Perhaps one day, in a year, or even in a century, you’ll turn up at my door, and let me show you what the world has to offer.”
- “You mark my words. A small-town boy, a small-town life, it won’t be enough for you.”
- “You don’t know who I am. You only know the weakest parts of me. A man who lost his way, befriending vampires instead of killing them.” “You don’t mean that.” “They’re all monsters. The blood of their victims is on my hands. Jenna’s blood is on my hands.”
- “I have to do this with you two lurking over me?” “You’re still mad at me for what happened to Abby. Let me apologize. I’m sorry Elijah forced us to turn your mother into a vampire to save Elena’s life. Didn’t exactly have a choice.” “There’s always a choice. Whenever you make one, someone else suffers.”
- “That’s not a best-case scenario. That’s not even a remotely acceptable scenario.”
- “Tyler, it doesn’t matter how many times I dance with him. I love you.”
- “You may draw comfort knowing that your aunt is not in the place that I was. She doesn’t know the torment of the other side. Though made a vampire, she remained pure, she knows peace. Which is all any of us can hope for.”
- “We’re strange bedfellows, you and I. You know, all of this, reminds me of our time together in the Twenties.” “You say that like I’m supposed to have happy memories about it.” “Well, there were moments. Real friendship. Brotherhood.” “Well, he already has a brother. Not to be, you know, territorial or anything.”
- “The Salvatores. And their unshakeable bond. I wonder what’ll happen when Elena finally makes her choice. Will we see you shake just a little bit?”
- “Listen, Jeremy. I’m not gonna complete the transition. My dark side was dangerous enough as a human. I can’t be a vampire.”
- “Damon’s here. He’ll make sure it’ll all go down the right way.”
- “Don’t. Don’t give me some crap speech about how I need to be the man of the house.” “OK. I won’t.”
- “Taking care of you and Jeremy has been…has been the closest I’ve ever come to the life I always wanted.”
- “I should have said this before but thank you for protecting me.” “Apparently, it’s what I do.” “You really are pretty amazing.” “Sometimes I think I’d settle for just ordinary.”
- “You gonna be ok by yourself?” “No. I don’t think I am.”

- “Mr. Saltzman.” “Alaric.”
- “I’d rather get it over with now before some janitor comes cleaning out Alaric’s stuff and realizes the history teacher was a vampire slayer.”

- “We were in this gym the night Klaus compelled me to turn my feelings off. I thought I hit rock bottom in the Twenties, but after I bit you I never wanted to feel anything again. But someone…kept telling me that it was OK to feel. No matter how much it hurt. That our emotions would make us human, good or bad, and to never lose hope.” “Who gave you that horrible advice?” “Some girl I used to date.”
- “I don’t have anyone anymore.” “You have me.”
- “Well…I offered to snap his neck, put him out of his misery but…he didn’t take me up on it.” “You seem surprised.” “Well, you just think a guy so used to dying, wouldn’t want to drag it out.” “Well, it was nice of you to give him options.” “Hmm…apparently my choices have been a little controversial lately.”
- “Aw Ric.” “Is this the part where you give me a dream? Rainbows and rolling green hills?” “I was drunk when I told you that.” “Yeah and I told you I’d use it against you.” “Damn you.”
- “Sorry I killed you. Twice.” “So I actually have to die to get a real apology out of you.”
Only two episodes remain in Season 3. The Vampire Diaries airs on Thursdays at 8/7c on the CW.
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