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Moment of Goodness

Moment of Goodness: Schmidt Breaks His Penis, New Girl “Tomatoes” 

Photo Credit: Ray Mickshaw/FOX

Oh. Schmidt. Why are you so funny? Of course it takes something as serious as a trip to the hospital for Cece to admit her feelings. But what was unexpected was seeing Schmidt’s injury revealed as a penis injury. It kind of serves him right, even though Cece said she was fine with him dating Nadia. I guess the actual injury isn’t as hilarious as the aftermath.

Cece wants to know what happened after she sees Schmidt’s crotch area being iced down.

“I broke my penis?”

“You what?”

“I broke my penis. Things got…I mean, just out of control with Nadia last night. And, there was like this one moment where it was just blinding pain. And there was another moment where I was watching myself watch myself. I think I finally understand what The Tree of Life is about. And I can’t be certain of this, but I’m almost positive that Nadia’s vagina contains a right angle.”

Cece’s had enough and finally admits she likes him. It’s about time.

“You like me. You like my personality?”

“I was surprised too.”

I have to say I kind of loved this scene. But what made it amazing is when Schmidt’s injured member tries to enter the game. The amount of pain he’s in is hilarious. I mean, I laughed so hard I had to rewind and repeat to hear all the dialogue.

“Oh my God. Why? Ah.”


“Oh my God my penis is having a heart attack. Don’t touch me.”


“Don’t touch me.”


“You’ve got to get out of here. I mean I, I like – don’t bend over! For crying out loud. What are you, nuts? I’m sorry. It’s the yoga pants.”

“I’m sorry for this, but I, I like you.”

“I like you too. So much. Call a nurse. Call a male nurse. Probably a heavyset male nurse would be nice.”


“Describe it to them as like a, a battered highway cone. AHHH.”

Schmidt’s got to “ice that thing” for eight weeks? I see your plot device and raise you what I’m sure is to be some awesome character development. We know Cece and Schmidt are more than compatible in the bedroom. Now we’ll see how much they have in common when they actually have to talk and get to know each other. I’m rooting for them.

Bonus: Watching Winston try to get a rise out of Schmidt. I’m sorry. I had to.

“I mean if I have any excitement it’s excrutiating pain.”




“I love boobies.”

“Girls with clean hair.”

“Winston this is the least funny game we’ve ever played.”

“Models eating sliders.”


“Bernadette Peters on a high beam.”


“Freshly baked bread.”

Comic. Gold.

New Girl airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on Fox.

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