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Brad and Jane Talk Dirty + Other Happy Endings “Big White Lies” Awesomeness 

Photo Credit: ABC

I can’t believe this is the penultimate episode of the season, but I have to say I love that Happy Endings is going out like this. There were so many great moments that I had a very hard time choosing what to focus on. So let’s sample some of what made this an awesome episode.Brad and Jane Talk Dirty

Brad: “Tell me what you want.”

Jane: “You know what I want.”

Brad: “Say it. I want to hear you say it.”

Jane: “I want a porch.”

Brad: “Oh.”

Jane: “A big wide porch with weathered shingles.”

Brad: “Oh yeah. And a dock. A dark pine dock that goes on forever.”

There’s nothing I don’t love about Brad and Jane. They are so strange and awesome together. I love that they’re getting so hot under the collar talking about a lake house – a lake house they don’t even own.

Guest Star Goodness

Mary Elizabeth Ellis plays Daphne Wilson, a childhood friend of the gang. I loved watching her literally corner Penny, then Brad, then Jane, then Alex. And they all feel like they have to be nice to her, which is how they all get into so much trouble in the first place.

Ben Falcone‘s landlord Darren is very jealous of the crazy bachelor lifestyle Max and Dave are living right under his nose. He wants a piece of their action and he’s going to punish them until they cut him in.

Photo Credit: ABC

Three’s Company

Since Penny has committed the group to a lie about Brad and Jane’s lake house (amongst other things), Alex has to find a place to stay so she won’t be seen by Daphne. So when she shows up and Dave and Max’s, she has a suggestion:

Alex: “But it’ll be like Three’s Company. I’ll be adorable Chrissy and Max can be hilarious Jack and you’ll be Janet.”

Um, genius. I love that Alex makes Dave Janet and that he gets all standoffish about it. And then Darren comes to knock on their door.

Photo Credit: ABC

Brad Gets Ambushed… Well, He Ends Up in the Bushes

Daphne sneaks up on Brad and starts bombarding him with questions about Jane. He doesn’t pick the best lies to answer her multitude of inquires so when Daphne jumps to the conclusion that Jane’s pregnant Brad feels like he has to confirm her suspicions. He may have felt pressure to lie because he was cornered. Literally.

More Great Lines:

  • “Oh my God. A tea party sounds amahzing but I have a girl scout meeting I totally can’t reschedj.”
  • “So little, in fact, the mice there are like ‘Wassup. It’s crowded up in here yo.'” “They have little mice that can speak?” “No, it’s just a turn of phrase.”
  • “I, on the other hand, would love to take you out sometime. Like a lady. Like a gentleman. Like I would be the gentleman and you would be the lady.”
  • “Not cool Penny. Why’d you have to say our lake house is little? Now she’ll think we have to hang our beach cruisers from hooks in the kitchen like savages.”
  • “The only people who can get away with being mean are rock stars or brain surgeons or Mr. Phil.” “You mean Dr. Phil.” “Come on it’s a Ph.D. Everybody calm down.”
  • “Then whose purse is this?” “Uh, that’s um that’s mine. I told you Darren I am a gay man.” “Are you? Because I’ve had my eye on you and you don’t seem very gay to me.” “Well I am homosexual. Super gay.” “You had better be. I don’t know why I care so much but I do. I do.”
  • “Why are you nervous? You are gay.” “I know but you know that I love low stakes classic 80s sitcom danger.”
  • “Stop drinking wine and eating soft cheese. You’re pregnant.” “Dammit everyone’s life is moving on but mine.”
  • “Alex is already throwing me one… tomorrow.” “Wow. Why so early?” “Serbian tradition. We always do things early because we never know when we’re gonna have to pack up and murder a populace.” “I love cultural traditions.”
  • “Yay! Wait.” “Great. I’m gonna have a baby shower.” “Yay! Wait. Wait! Hmm.”
  • “Oh God. Daphne’s here. She cannot know I’m behind this.” “The plan or the counter?” “Both.”
  • “Oh no you’re ambivalent.” “Huh?” “And I know why. Seeing Jane married and pregnant has made you regret turning down the world’s greatest guy.” “John Krasinski?” “Dave! I always had the biggest crush on him.” “John Krasinski?” “No, Dave.”
  • “Hey, I’m not just some blonde. I’m a bottle blonde.”
  • “Dammit! You couldn’t have led him on until he fixed our stove? That’s what Chrissy would’ve done.” “Max life is not like Three’s Company. Uh! There’s that pesky Daphne. Hide.”
  • “I call it my lie bible. Or my libel.” “Idiot. Libel is already another thing.” “Dude you’re trying to patent triscuit.”
  • “Who the fuzz was that?” “She’s a professional seat filler. Yeah, I paid them all $20 to mingle festively and respond to social cues plus they do get first dibs on centerpieces.”
  • “What are you doing?” “I’m Ellen. Oh boy. I figure if I’ve gotta be a lesbian I might as well go straight to the top.”
  • “Stop dancing.” “But he’s dancing.”
  • “But I’ve learned my lesson. Nothing good ever comes from lying.” “Well, actually something good did come from it. It made us realize there’s something missing in our lives.” “We’ve not entirely ready, but I mean who is right? So… we’re just gonna go for it.” “Guys. We’re buying a lake house.” “Yes! We’re gonna be weekenders.”

The season 2 finale of Happy Endings airs Wednesday, April 4th at 9:30/8:30c on ABC.

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