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Justified “Guy Walks Into a Bar” 

Photo credit: Prashant Gupta/FX

For an episode with the title of an old school bar joke setup, this is a decidedly unfunny outing. We start out light enough with a badass Shelby pulling a shotgun on two of Napier’s deputies when they try to plant a bottle of Oxy in his car in the middle of the night, and from there we hold a fairly even tone with a couple of breaks of levity until we dive right down the rabbit hole and stay there.

Tonight, we learned that Quarles is well and truly out of his friggin mind. And an Oxy addict. And a sex abuse survivor. And a sexual predator. Oh, and at 14, he killed his daddy who had pimped him out to his friends to pay for his heroin addiction. All of that is the runup to him throwing down the gauntlet to Raylan in the bar. Raylan’s all too happy to just end him right then and there quick-draw Deadwood styles, but Lyndsey pulls her own gun with a “thanks, but not right now, and get out of my bar,” so Quarles and Duffy leave and Raylan and Lyndsey “retire” upstairs.

Boyd rigs the election but good by having Napier’s sister hired into a county job that automatically negates Napier’s eligibility. So Shelby is the new sheriff almost fair and sort of square. The scene at election headquarters, aka Boyd’s bar, where they’re watering down the booze and parsing sexual favors for votes, is pretty hilarious, as is Shelby’s reaction, where he broke out laughing and I’m pretty sure that was Jim Beaver and not Shelby.

Back at work, Dewey’s scheduled for early prison release and Raylan, Art, the AUSA, and Judge Goofy conspire around how to maybe keep him locked up and then Raylan reneges and figures what the hell, Dewey will be locked up again, or dead, soon enough. I was disappointed because I like hearing him talk about Helen and his momma so I wanted him to confront Dewey about what he took, but this isn’t that kind of show.

When Napier’s bounced, Quarles goes off on a bender and a friend of the boy he tortured and killed shows up and confronts him with a gun. Stoned out his mind, Quarles soliloquies his own sad story before disarming the kid. That should’ve been where it ended, but no, apparently Duffy stands by while Quarles kidnaps the kid to rape him, too. I seriously want to unsee that. I may be over ever seeing Neal McDonough any other way. Hope not. I liked him.

Limehouse synchs up with Boyd about what the rigged election means for him personally and they agree on populating the office according to their collective best interests. And Limehouse learns of Dickie walking and makes his own plans for how to accept him home (or not, as it happens).

No Winona, Tim, or Rachel this week. And we want to know: where the hell is Rachel?

As for Raylan and Lyndsey, I like her. She calls him on his bullsh-it and if this is how he gets past Winona, so be it. She sees the sonogram picture in his bathroom, so that’s on the table. No secrets. No baggage. No history. It’s about time Raylan tried that.

Only three episodes left this season.

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