By using our website, you agree to the use of our cookies.
What They Said

What They Said: Favorite Quotes from Archer “Space Race, Part I” 

Photo Credit: FXÂ

Episode: “Space Race, Part I”

  • “And that Mrs. Archer-” “Ms.” “Don’t.” “Ah, Ms. Archer. I beg your pardon.” “Don’t.”
  • “Vague? You heard Commander Kellogg. He said the Horizon is under attack.” “Well. Under something.” “He could’ve been saying under-financed.” “What?” “Sterling.” “What? They’re always whining about needing more money for their boondocks-” “Doggles.”
  • “So where does ISIS fit in Commander?” “Well-” “Well, I think that’s a bit premature until we discuss our fee structure.” “As to that you can name your price.” “Oh now they’ve got us.”
  • “Is mutiny funny to you Mr. Archer?” “I don’t know maybe a mutiny of clowns.”
  • “Because I need a small cadre of highly trained agents to fly into orbit and help me retake control of Horizon.” “Noooope.” “Yeeeep.” “Lana.” “Archer. He just said highly trained and the last time I checked none of us were even lowly trained to be astronauts.” “Well how hard could it be?” “Incredibly.”
  • “I won’t lie to you. This mission will be dangerous.” “Would you say we’d be venturing into a zone of danger?” “Well, yes. Obviously.” “No, but I mean how would you phrase that?” “I… the zone will be one of danger?” “No, I mean. Not if you say the… forget it. Never mind. And you never mind and also shut up.”
  • “Astronaut training sucks complete ass. Literally. What is the deal with all the enemas?” “Uhhhh.” “And why do you need so much blood?”
  • “I also happen to be single.” “Yes. I know. Excuse me.”
  • “I hope to God that was alcohol.”
  • “Knowing that my colleague’s life what in danger I” “Acted without thinking.” “As always.” “Not always.” “Well thank God you did.” “What?” “But almost always.” “Because that’s exactly the kind of decisive action this mission calls for. You could all learn something from him.”
  • “The vomit comet!”
Photo Credit: FX
  • “Such mind shattering awesomeness!”
  • “Woooooooo! Weightlessness.”
  • “19 more times until literally there was no more fluid left in my body.” “Yeah and thanks so much for that.” “Cyril.” “She’s not the one that kept riding you into it holding your mouth open.”
  • “Even in zero gravity you’re an asshole.” “You were saying? To the wet towel wielding survivor of 15 years of boarding school locker rooms?” “Wait, 15?!” “Or whatever. The normal number.” “12?”
  • “Sir I’m not sure Lana – sorry honey – is physically capable of space flight.” “Ray! Actually I might not be cut out for it.” “Well I’m sorry to hear that agent Kane because you’re going.” “To a zone. Which is one of danger.”
  • “Tony? What, are you trying to get my mother into the million mile high club?”
  • “I am calm! I’m also outta here.” “Take your hands off that harness.” “Make me.”
  • “I want to brief you all on what to expect when we dock with Horizon.” “Uhhh. Can we expect a pharmacy?” “Lana, it’s not a strip mall although I assume there’s a bar.” “A bar?” “Or whatever. Cantina?” “Ah, no. Please pay attention.”
  • “I’m sure the mutineers are armed.” “What what? Slide rules and tang?”
  • “The M41 Mark 2 plasma-pulse rifle with concussion grenade launcher.” “Holy sh*t!” “On kill mode, the M41 fires lethal plasma ammunition. On stun it fires an ion pulse similar to an EMP.” “And can it be fired with an erection?”
  • “Careful. Even on stun it can-” “Oops.”
  • “As I was saying, it’s possible for an EMP to stop a man’s heart.” “So ‘stun’ may be a bit of a misnomer.”
  • “Mr. Archer. That’s twice you’ve jeopardized the success of this mission. There will not be a third.” “Um flight. We have a problem.” “Well don’t look at me.”
  • “I would be well within my rights to jettison both of you into space.” “Well within them.” “Malory!” “However, for uh numerous reasons one being this ship can’t actually do that I’ve decided to take you with us.”
  • “Yeah, so that safety’s tricky huh?”
Photo Credit: FX
  • “Agent Kane come with me. I may need some help getting us to Horizon so that we don’t die writhing in agony when run out of oxygen.” “Yeah. Been there. No picnic.”
  • “You’re screwing him aren’t you? “Whaaaaaaaat? Yes.”
  • “Well good luck fighting a bunch of, whatever, space pirates without me. F*ck you space.”
  • “The flight computer will dock the ship. Assemble the boarding party.” “Nor was I told there would be a party. Lana what are you wearing?”
  • “No! We can’t jeopardize the women.” “Cough.” “Well not you-” “No no no agent Kane. I’m afraid your particular skill set outweighs your-“
  • “Just follow me.” “And try not to shoot me and oh sh*t.” “What the hell” “is wrong with me?” “It’s the artificial gravity. You have to re-adjust to it.” “I’ll get my inner ear right on that.”
  • “You don’t think I could rock this?” “Couple things. One, I don’t know what that means and two, hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. And two, you obviously don’t know what boarding party means.”
  • “Whew! Ok good luck.” “Thanks. Normally I’d say I don’t need it but I can barely feel my legs.” “I call that the MOAB. It stands for-” “I know what it stands for. I was there. Please don’t say it out loud.”
  • Do I have to do everything… he asked intending to be facetious.” “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” “Besides suffering from gigantism?” “Shut up.”
  • “Yes, she’s strong. Good breeding stock.” “Hey!” “Whoa Charles Benedict Davenport. Uh the father of eugenics? Seriously guys, read a book.”
  • “Two more? Then we can populate Mars even faster than we’d hoped.” “What?” “Did you say Mars?” “Oh now your ears- Wait. Why did you say Mars?” “Don’t you see? They’re the mutineers.” “Welcome to the… danger zone.”

Archer airs Thursdays at 10/9c on FX.

Related posts

Leave a Reply

Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.