What They Said: Favorite Quotes from The Vampire Diaries “All My Children” 

Episode: “All My Children”
Writers: Evan Bleiweiss & Michael Narducci

• “If you’re mad at me, Damon, you need to get over it.” “Oh, I’m over it.”

• “What’s wrong with you? She tried to kill me less than 48 hours ago.” “Can’t we just move past that, Elena?”

• “Maybe for once, something I did had nothing to do with you.”

• “Why do you look like someone just shot a panda bear?”

• “He’s right, you know. Klaus has to die. They all do.” “See? It’s democracy in action.”

• “Is it working?” “It’s not working. I can hear every word you say about Damon, the vampire jigolo.”

• “Ugh, why are you so extra broody? Did you see the way we stood up to Elena? I like you on my team. Must have driven her nuts.”

• “I admire you, Elena. You remind me of qualities I valued long before my mother turned us. It’s not in your nature to be deceitful and yet when I asked you about your meeting with my mother the other night, you lied to my face.”

• “You know, one thing I learned in my time on this earth: be careful what you wish for.”

• “Well, I’m surprised you have time to call what with all this Original sex you’ve been having.”

• “Are you with the sexy psycho doctor?” “Goodbye, Damon.”

• “Does he think I’m still a serial killer?” “He’s a little judgmental.”

• “I’m a little embarrassed to admit but when it comes to killing a thousand year-old resurrected witches, I’m a little rusty.”

• “In any case, you have until six minutes after nine to find them.” “Oh, how super specific of you.”

• “Well, what if I told you I had a less diabolical plan?”

• “join us for a drink?” “Hmm…I’d rather die of thirst, but thanks!” “Isn’t she stunning?” “She certainly looks good walking away from you.”

• “Just to be clear. I’m too smart to be seduced by you.” “Well, that’s why I like you.”

• “You didn’t know I was friends with your mummy?”

• “So this is your place, huh?” “You’re kind of a slob.” “Housekeeping is not high on my priority list.” “I see that.”

• “It kind of sucks getting my ass kicked on a date.” “Well, that’s what you get, picking fights with guys 30 times your age.”

• “You know what’d she choose.” “She’d let herself be killed to save a friend.” “Yep.” “If we do this, it’ll wreck her.” “Oh, She’ll hate us. Thing is she only needs to hate one of us. Only one of us has to do the actual deed.” “Hmm…so who’s it gonna be, brother?” “Well, heads, I do it. Tales — you do it.” “That’s an awful lot of effort for someone who pretends not to care about her anymore.” “Pot, kettle, brother.”

• “My only regret is that I did not let you die a thousand years ago.”

• “For a thousand years, I’ve been forced to watch you. Felt the pain of every victim. Suffered while you shed blood. Even you, Elijah, with your claim to nobility. You’re no better. All of you. You’re a curse on this Earth. Stretched over generations. If you’ve come to plead for your life…I’m sorry. You’ve wasted your time.”

• “I lost that coin toss, Damon. Should have been me who turned Abby. Why’d you do it?” “‘Cause I’m not blind. I see what’s been going on around here. You’re hanging by a thread, Stefan. Barely over your last Ripper binge and all you want is to be the old Stefan again.”

• “That part of me is gone for good.” “Oh yeah? How long has it been since you’ve had a drop of human blood?” “How’d you know?” “Spend 146 years with someone, you start to pick up on their tells. Answer the question. How long has it been since your last drink?” “Since the night I threatened to drive Elena off the Wickery Bridge.” “See? You have enough to feel guilty about. Why add to the list? By the way, you’re welcome.” “You know, you’re not fooling anyone either. You still love her, Damon.” “I do. I thought I could win her from you fair and square. But she didn’t want me. It’s for the best. I’m better at being the bad guy anyway.”

• “Mother made us vampires. she didn’t make us monsters. We did that to ourselves.”

The Vampire Diaries returns with new episodes March 15 at 8/7c on The CW.