
Episode: “Bringing Out The Dead”
Writers: Turi Meyer & Al Septien
- “Easy! I just finished renovating!”
- “Well, why don’t you just ask Ric if his dirty little doctor had access to the weapon.” “You’re on speaker phone, dick.”
- “It’s not Meredith, OK?” “I refuse to believe that your luck with women is that tragic.”
- “Uh…it makes me nostalgic for the time Stefan was a bunny-snacking pacifist.”
- “Elijah. My favorite Original. Back from the dead. You clean up nice.”
- “Oh yeah. Dear Elijah: Let’s get together…about the destruction of your brother. XO. XO.”
- “Did you ask Damon if he killed anybody lately?”
- “Yeah, we’ve had our ups and downs.”
- “I think it’s sweet, you want to make sure Alaric’s not dating a total psycho.” “He’s my family. I have to look out for him.”
- “I say go with the black. Makes you look all villainy.”
- “Yeah, the way you been acting I trust him about as much as I trust you.” “Hmm. Well, guess that goes both ways, doesn’t it?”
- “Just remember, if it wasn’t for Klaus, you wouldn’t have become such a dick and that kiss would never have happened. So get ready. And get happy. We’re going to negotiate a fake truce and I don’t want your attitude screwing it up.”

- “Well, we can sit and eat or I can reach down your throats and pull out your insides. Choice is yours.”
- “Eat. I thought we agreed that we would leave the grumpy Stefan at home.”
- “Stefan, where is the lovely Elena tonight?” “I don’t know. Ask Damon.” (Klaus laughs) “I’m sorry. You’ve missed so much. Uh…trouble in paradise.”
- “You know what? Probably best just to keep Elena in the ‘do not discuss’ pile.”
- “But, in the end, we recognized the sacred bond of family.” “Family above all.”
- “Gentlemen. The worst thing for Elena Gilbert is…the two of you.”
- “It’s this town. It’s messed up. None of us should have to live this way.”
- “Delicious. Aged to perfection.”
- “You see, what she needs right now is to be rid of you lot. And to fall in love with a human. Maybe that nice football player. You know, the blond one.” “Matt Donovan? Really?”
- “I don’t hate you. I love you. You’re strong. You’re beautiful. You’re good. And even after everything that’s happened to you, you are exactly who your mother and I hoped you’d grow up to be.” “Please don’t leave me, dad. Please don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.” “Parents aren’t supposed to outlive their children, Caroline.”

- “See, I’ve learned not to trust your vulgar promises, Klaus. We’re donig this on my terms now.”
- “You’re free to go. This is family business.”
- “You were right about Elijah. Undaggering him was the smart move.” “Wow, actual acknowledgement of a job well done. You’re goin’ soft, Stefan.” “So I guess I shouldn’t thank you for saving me from Klaus?” “Shut up. You don’t get to thank me until I pay you back for all those times you saved me.” “You could have left me there. Klaus would have killed me and you would have had Elena all to yourself.” “I didn’t do that on your account.” “I love her, Damon.” “So do I.”
- “Let’s hope big witch and little witch got that coffin open.”
- “Mother.” “Look at me. Do you know why I’m here?” “You’re here to kill me.” “Niklaus, you are my son. And I am here to forgive you. I want us to be a family again.”
The Vampire Diaries airs on Thursdays at 8/7c on the CW.
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