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What They Said

What They Said: Favorite Quotes from Supernatural “How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters” 

Photo Credit: Jack Rowand/The CW

Episode: “How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters”
Writer: Ben Edlund

  • “We’re on our third the world’s screwed issue in what — three years?”
  • “Stop trying to resolute the big picture, son. You’re going to hurt your head.”
  • “Camping high season harshed by Human Burrito?”
  • “Yeah, of course, when’s the last time you saw a bear string up its own pinata?”
  • “OK, Davy Crockett. Well, safari’s going to have to wait until tomorrow — and after our suit and tie dance. We’ll make sure this is not just some backwoods crackhead who likes to roll glampers.” “What the hell’s a glamper?” “Sam?” “A high-end camper. TV, AC. Wi-fi. Back to nature. Zero inconvenience.” “That’s idiotic.” “Yeah.”
  • “You were the one to find Mitchell Rayburn. Correct?” “The Human Burrito.”
  • “You gotta respect Mother Nature. You respect her or she’s going to string you up. She’ll eat your ass right through the Gore-Tex.”
  • “You enjoy your lunch…Ranger Rick.”
  • “I took a look at the cadaver…what’s left of it. Not a happy camper.”
  • “Hey uh Brandon. Can we grab a booth?” “Hey uh douche wad, the hostess will seat you. Do I look like a freakin’ hostess?” “Do you want to look like a hostess?” “That didn’t really make sense what you said.”
  • “I sure hope we don’t get Brandon’s section.” “Sidewinder soup and salad combo goes to Big Bird. TDK Slammer to Ken Doll. And a little Heart Smart to creepy uncle.” “What is your problem?” “You are my problem.” “Brendan’s got his flair all up in a bunch.” “Yeah, there goes his 18 percent.”
  • “A bunch of birds shoved up inside each other. Shouldn’t play God like that.” “Don’t look at me sideways from that Chinese Chicken geezer salad there, OK? This is awesome. It’s like a perfect storm of your top three edible birds.”
  • “You used to take us hunting, remember? Dad had a case he’d just dump us on you. I’m sure you must have taught us most of the outdoor tracking we know.” “Yeah, what I could get to stick. Never could get you little grubs to pull the trigger on a single deer.” “You’re talkin’ about Bambi, man.” “You don’t shoot Bambi, jackass. You shoot Bambi’s mother.”
  • “Shut up. Shut off. And listen.”
  • “Man, I liked Rick.”
  • “Wow, nice job, Bobby.” “Seriously.” “We all got our gifts.”
  • “Built like a supermodel but the thing was strong that’s for damn sure.”
  • “All right, let’s check his hulk pants for some i.d.”
Photo Credit: Jack Rowand/The CW
  • “Ugh, that is just going to ruin the leather.” “Are you feeling OK?” “I feel great.”
  • “Apparently, he’s lost a little pudge.” “Maybe it’s a lap band side effect.”
  • “I’m no Dr. Oz but I think that’s his adrenal gland.”
  • “Is that right? Do rat’s shake their ass? Or is it something else?”
  • “There’s some funky chicken in the TDK Slammer right there.”
  • “Best I’ve felt in a couple months. Cas…black goo..I don’t even care anymore. You know what’s even better? I don’t care that I don’t care. I just want my damn Slammer back.”
  • “I think you pissed off my sandwich.”
  • “That’s…That’s in me?” “Only half of it.”
  • “OK, so whatever turned Gary Browder into a pumpkin head and is currently turning Dean into an idiot…” “I’m right here. Right here.” “Is in the Turducken Slammer at Biggersons.” “Yeah.” “It’s in the meat.” “If I wasn’t so chilled out right now, I would puke.”
  • “The two of you. Aren’t you full up just playing Snuffleupagus with the devil all the live long?”
  • “You always were one deep little son of a bitch.”
  • “How’s your head?” “I think the Slammer’s pretty much wore off. In between that and the 40 cups of coffee I’m nice and tense and alarmed.”
  • “Bobby, don’t go all Sigmund Freud on me right now, OK? I just got drugged by a sandwich.”
  • “You tried to hang it up and be a person with Lisa and Ben and now here you are with a mean old coot in a van full of guns.”
  • “You die before me and I’ll kill ya.” “We need to scrape some money together. Get you a condo or something.”
  • “Well, I’ll be a squirrel in a skirt. It’s Dick friggin’ Roman.”
  • “You’re bibbing me?”
  • “Now I have officially seen it all.”
  • “Well, it’s a hard world, Bob. It’s an us eat dog world.”
  • “I really think you guys have spunk. You’re like a planet of just the cutest little engines that could.”
  • “Sam, that is not how we communicate from a place of yes.”

Supernatural airs Fridays at 9/8c on the CW.

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