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What They Said

What They Said: Favorite Quotes from Community: “Documentary Filmmaking: Redux” 

Photo Credit: Lewis Jacobs/NBC

Episode: “Documentary Filmmaking: Redux”
Writer: Megan Ganz

  • “That, as you probably know, is the current commercial running for our school.” “Yeah, I always see it during late night marathons of Fantasy Island.” “That’s not an accident. It’s the result of intensive targeting.”
  • “I’ve chosen you, Greendale’s brightest, most coincidentally diverse — Hispanics notwithstanding — study group to star in our commercial.”
  • “This isn’t Hollywood, Pierce. If it was, these glasses would be tinted and I’d be friends with Stevie Nicks.”
  • “I’m an actor not a circus freak.” (Pierce exits) “Oh no, I need to go that way. Eh, I’ll loop around.”
  • “All right. Let’s rehearse this mamma jamma.”
  • “Thank you, supervisor girl. Faster than a locomotive!”
  • “A script supervisor is the person that tells everyone to stay on script and keeps careful notes to prevent logical inconsistencies. So, basically the star.”
  • “Yeah, Troy and I are buds. Best buds. Air buds, even.”
Photo Credit: Lewis Jacobs/NBC
  • “Welcome to Dean-dale Community Colle-dean. I’m a silly goose. Honk honk.”
  • “I’m always willing to go the extra mile to avoid doing something.” “Like sex with women.” “Shut up, Leonard. You smell like Mentho Lyptus.”
  • “The word he’s looking for is sassy. He better pray he don’t find it.”
  • “And can I just say, I loved you innnnn…IMDB.”
  • “It’s great that he got a celebrity but why reshoot everything?” “Perfectionism. The Dean’s first step down the road that ends in self-destruction…” “That sounds horrible.” “Actually, I might end up taking this to some festivals.”
  • “What’s this?” (The Dean hands Annie an orange) “Scene 4.”
  • “You get this wrong one more time, I’m segregating the school.”
  • “But when this is all over I’ll have a commercial with Luis Guzman in it and all they’ll have are their words and their fears and whatever embarrassing photos they can get from my two-faced mother.
  • “Are you by any chance familiar with Stockholm Syndrome?” Is it something that the Dean created? Because if not, I don’t care.”
  • “Pierce mistook me for the Dean today.” “How did that make you feel?” “I’ve become a stranger to myself.”
  • “Lights. Camera. Dean!”
  • “I beg your pardon…actor?”
  • “I have made bald friends.”
  • “As a licensed psychology major, I’m declaring this production a violation of human rights. You have made us prisoners of your insanity!”
Photo Credit: Lewis Jacobs/NBC
  • “If the Dean wants his role to be played by a Chinese man in a blond wig…Oh my God, you are insane.”
  • “I thought it was pretty good.” “Of course you think that. You went here!”
  • “Hi I’m Craig Pelton, Dean of Greendale Community College. I have failed this school. I have failed it because I thought I was better than Greendale. See, I went to a university. So I thought it was my job to improve this place. But it turns out that the only thing wrong with Greendale is that it’s run by an insecure wreck who holds five dances and two talent shows a year because he’s afraid that the school isn’t good enough. But Greendale is good enough because it accepts me for when I’m not. Greendale is the best school in the entire world. And I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to it. And I’m sorry for what I’ve done to the ice cream machine. Please no one eat out of it until you clean the nozzles. A janitor knows how.”
  • “Is there any more of the crazy Chinese guy? He pops.”
  • “I thought you were a fly on the wall.” “Some flies are too awesome for the wall.”
  • “Can you just forgive me?” “Yup.”
  • “I’m a good Dean.”

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