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What They Said

What They Said: Favorite Quotes from The Vampire Diaries “Smells Like Teen Spirit” 

Photo Credit: Bob Mahoney/The CW

Episode: “Smells Like Teen Spirit”
Writers: Julie Plec & Caroline Dries

  • “You’re not strong enough. Better start lifting weights. Put some meat on your bones.” “Thanks for not sugarcoating it.”
  • “Why should I let the fact that my boyfriend is seeing the ghost of his dead girlfriends hinder this experience?” “Yes. And why should I let the fact that my boyfriend was turned into a hybrid put a damper on an otherwise fabulous day!” “Today’s our anniversary. Technically, Stefan and I met on the first day of school last year.” “Yeah, you win.”
  • “Ooh would you like a spin?”
  • “These ladies are helping me be all that I can be.”
  • “You’re not staying here.” “Rude. Both of you. I’ll see to it myself.” “Well, I guess she’s staying here.”
  • “Well try harder. We need him to kill Klaus so I can de-rippify Stefan before he destroys my house.”
  • “You might not want to come here for a while. We have a new housemate. Barbie Klaus.”
  • “What about Stefan? What is he up to?” “Uh you know Stefan. Journaling, reading, shaping his hair…” “Come on, Damon. I can handle it. What?” “Is that the bell? Uh Ring! Ring! Don’t wanna be late!” (Damon hangs up phone)
  • “I’m his first successful hybrid, Caroline. Don’t you think that’s the tiniest bit awesome?”
  • “Hello, Elena.” “What are you doing here?” “What do you mean? I’m going back to school. Go Timberwolves!”
  • “You have got no business in the stoner pit.” “I figured you’d feel comfortable here.” “Mmmm…touché.”
  • “Who are you?” “Some guy who’s been assigned to protect a human blood bag. I mean, no offense or anything.”
  • “What are you going to bench press a vampire?”
  • “What are you doing?” “Helping you out.” “Damon!” “Come on, Buffy!” “Stop it!”
  • “What’s your plan…oh Warrior Princess?”
  • “I’ll do whatever it is you need me to do, Elena. No one’s going to hurt you. Especially not my brother.”
  • “Wherever Stefan goes, the blonde ponytail tends to follow.” “Which is why it’s your job to keep her away.” “How? She’s an Original. Last time I checked, we’re out of daggers.” “So then? Preoccupy her with your charm.” “Might have better luck finding the dagger.” “Are you ever not going to be mad at me, Ric?” “Doubtful.”
  • “But Klaus is the bad guy, Tyler. Why are you acting like some freaky hybrid slave minion?”
  • “Can we cool it on the commentary, please?”
  • “So how do I fix him?” “Get a new boyfriend.”
  • “All right. Take it easy. We both know you’re kind of a lightweight.” “Really? You think I’m going to let a blood addict tell me how to drink?”
  • “What no friends your own age?” “Like you can talk.”
  • “This is supposed to be fun. I’ve been through ten of these.” “No, you’re just lookin’ at it all wrong. Look — it’s a little rough on the outside. But on the inside…yum.”
  • “Oh my brother’s got his flirt on and…you’re jealous.”
  • “Why are you being so nice to me? You hate me. You should be mean.” “Well, I could be mean. If that’s what you’re into.”
  • “It was never a fair fight between us, Damon. (stakes Damon) Remember that.”
  • “How did I get home?” “I brought you here. You were being a d-bag.”
  • “Everything I like about me…is you.”
  • “Uh oh it’s the fun police. I thought that Ripper Stefan was supposed to be the life of the party.”
  • “Ohh…that was close. Klaus would not be happy with you.” “You’re hilarious.” “Look Stefan, no hands.”
  • “You look uh…not sober.”
  • “Goodbye, Vick.”
  • “You almost got barbecued. Least I could do is apply first aid.”
  • “You played your part of the plan really well tonight.” “Oh yeah?” “Yeah, you had Rebekah drooling all over you and your marshmallows.”
  • “You’re too drunk to notice.” “I was faking most of it.” “So was I.”
  • “You’re always running out on me.” “You have to earn the overnighter.” “I consider that a challenge.”
  • “It’s okay if you want to be friends with Damon again.” “I don’t.” “I think he kind of misses you.”
  • “I know who you really are better than anyone Stefan. And I’m not giving up.” “Elena. Do you have any idea how pathetic that makes you?” “No, Stefan. It makes me strong.” (Elena stakes Stefan)
  • “This is going to be fun.”

The Vampire Diaries airs Thursdays at 8/7c on the CW.

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