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What They Said

What They Said: Favorite Quotes from The Vampire Diaries “Disturbing Behavior” 

Photo Credit: The CW

Episode: “Disturbing Behavior”

Writer: Brian Young

  • “There has to be more to this dress.” “There’s not.” “So, women in the 21st century dress like prostitutes then. You know, I got dirty looks wearing trousers.” “You wore trousers so women today could wear nothing.”
  • “Nice one, good work.” “You’re the one that pulled the dagger out of her.” “I heard that!”
  • “You show up, there will be nine other people that brought chili.” “It’s an old family recipe, okay?” “Yeah, I knew your old family. They made sucky chili.”
  • “You two look chummy. Klaus your new bestie?”
  • “But I’ve heard about that sister. Be careful. She’ll ruin you.” “Happy to know you still care.”
  • “Bonnie.” “I’m back!!!!”
  • “Mayor Lockwood called your gay ex-husband to torture your vampire daughter.”
  • “Want me to just kill him?” “No, Damon. He’s Caroline’s father.” “He sounds like a douchebag to me.” “just because you and I are on okay terms doesn’t mean I’m suddenly a big advocate for your lifestyle.” “Is that what you told him when you two got divorced?”
  • “You brought another vampire into all of this?” “It’s the best thing for all of us, Bill.”
  • “You left us.” “Yeah, sorry. Retail therapy was making my head explode.” “Tell me about it.”
  • “You’re harshin’ my juju.”
  • “So, you’re not like switchin’ Salvatores, are you?”
  • “My girl’s dead. I’m bored.”
  • “You’re not kidding about being hungry.” “It’s been a long day.” “Try being related to her.” “You’re being mean.”
  • “You’re no picnic, either. I mean, I’ve ony spent one summer with you and I feel like I want to blow my head off.” “Fantastic.”
  • “Yet you didn’t tell Klaus. Why?” “‘Cause I wouldn’t help that hybrid half-breed with anything.”
  • “Guess I gotta get it out of you the hard way, huh?”
  • “Relax, it’s just a little paralysis spell. Nothing major. Just gotta get the information out of your pretty little head. You know, witches nowadays, they’re into that new age stuff but…I’m a little more old school voodoo.”
  • “I have a question.” “Bill!” “Do you three think everybody on the Council is clueless? Or just stupid?”
  • “Well, this is creepy. Maybe you did need my help after all.”
  • “Please tell me it’s time to go.”
Photo Credit: The CW
  • “W-w-w-wait Houston, we have a problem.” “Where’ve you been?” “Managing Bill Forbes. Apparently he’s impervious to compulsion.” “How?” “I have no idea. But he threatened to out me. Don’t get me started on the irony of that.”
  • “You’re repeatedly killing my buzz today, Ric. Step aside.”
  • “Your temporary funeral.”
  • “I’ve been thinking about your diabolical plan.” “Oh. Do tell!”
  • “So you mean, I’m uh…taking a page out of the Katherine Pierce playbook.”
  • “Come on, Stefan, we’re beyond that. I saved you from Hilda the high voodoo priestess.”
  • “If you’re planning on making a move against Klaus, I want in.” “It’s good. It’s good to want things, Katherine.”
  • “I’m in this alone. If you’re looking for a diabolical partner-in-crime, I suggest you look elsewhere.”
Photo Credit: The CW
  • “Are you okay? Do you want me to kick his ass?” “Yes. No. I bought him the shirt he’s wearing and it is real expensive.”
  • “God, you reek.” “What?” “It’s bad.” “No, this? This is sexy.” “No, it’s really bad.” “No.”
  • “Plus, your technique is a little lazy.” “Duly noted.”
  • “Makes you the third person to underestimate me today.”
  • “Here, it’ll heal you.” “No, I said I’m okay.” “Grow up!”
  • “Bummer. I love a good girl fight.”
  • “I am not Stefan. How about you stop trying to turn me into him!”
  • “Dreary isn’t it? Family cargo?”
  • “It took a bit longer than usual, huh? You might want to get that ring checked, hope it’s not going bad.” “You killed me.” “You pissed me off.” “You killed me!” “Ric, no hard feelings. All right, I was on a bit of a tear everyone was trying to tell me how to behave.” “Or maybe they finally realized that you’re just a dick.”
  • “Just admit it, Elena. Okay? You are attracted to him — in all of his bad brother glory!”
  • “If I even thought of it just for a second. What does that say about me?” “It says you’re human, Elena.”
  • “Thank you for coming to my rescue.” “You’re welcome.”
  • “Daddy? I’m going to be okay.” “You’re a vampire, sweetheart. I don’t think you’ll ever be okay again.”
  • “I’ll accept written apologies only.” “Are you two lovebirds fighting already?” “Katherine. Wonderful. What do you want?” “I’m just a girl looking for a partner-in-crime.”
  • “Welcome back to Mystic Falls, Stefan.”

The Vampire Diaries airs on the CW Thursdays at 8/7c.

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