We Need to Know: What in the World Did They Do to Charlie’s Angels? 

The latest version of Charlie’s Angels has aired two episodes on ABC so far this new TV season. I have only begrudgingly watched both episodes because of the pedigree of the people in charge behind the scenes as well as some of the planned guest stars. But so far I have to say that I am really disappointed in what should be a combination of a great police procedural and the campiness that made the film versions so popular. 

When the news first broke that ABC would be bringing the series back to the TV landscape, I created three different lists of actresses who could fit the bill of the three angels based on varying age ranges. And, of course, there was a different actor set for Bosley for each of the three age groups. However, when the actual casting was announced, I was disappointed with the selection not because of the actresses themselves, but more so in the fact that I just didn’t think they would pull the viewership in as the show would deserve.

And while the show has pulled in what can be deemed as fairly decent ratings for ABC over the last two weeks (8.7 million and 7.2 million respectively), the same cannot be said for the storylines, the acting, and – most of all – the dialogue. I have sat staring at the screen for both episodes, shaking my head in mortification over the insipid dialogue given to all of the angels and the ridiculousness of the stories.

Case in point:  In last week’s episode, two of the angels were chasing after a supposed stalker at a fashion show and just when it seemed like he was pulling something out of his pocket, the newest angel, Minka Kelly‘s Eve slammed into him, yelling “Gun” at the top of her lungs. He tossed them both into the ocean while one of the other angels, Rachael Taylor‘s Abby joked “She sure made a splash.” Seriously?  That’s the best they can do? I mean, I know they want to have levity in the episodes, but this is dialogue that a first-year college journalism student could improve upon. And, within that same scene, the angel who tossed herself and the supposed stalker into the water is seen completely dry, no damage to the designer dress she was wearing and no smeared make-up while the “stalker” was dripping wet. How realistic is that? Sure, it’s TV, but c’mon, can we be a little more real?

It is also sad, at least to me, that the people behind the scenes – most of whom have pretty good TV pedigrees in their recent past – are the writers, producers and developers of this new version. The people behind the episode I referenced earlier include:

• Alfred Gough and Miles Millar, who were the driving force behind the WB/CW series Smallville for many seasons, are the co-writers of this episode
• Marcos Siego, who has been a producer and director for shows like The Vampire Diaries, Dexter, and Veronica Mars is one of the executive producers of the show
• Javier Grillo-Marxuach, who has worked on shows like The Middleman, Lost, and Medium is a consulting producer on the show
• Meredith Lavendar and Marcie Ulin, who were writers and producers for Covert Affairs and the web series The Lake are co-producers for the show

Whereas the guest stars that have appeared in the two aired episodes have been better than the regular cast members despite the poor dialogue and storylines. In the debut episode, 24 alum Carlos Bernard and TV beauty Ivana Milicevic were the main guest stars. Last week’s episode featured Old Spice hunk Isaiah Mustafa and Moonlight hunk Jordan Belfi guest starred. And, in an upcoming episode, Smallville favorite Erica Durance will make an appearance.

With all of that being said, I cannot recommend this show to anyone and will not be watching it any further; and I really think that is a shame because the series could have been so much more than it is.

What do you think?  Have you watched Charlie’s Angels at all? Did you like either episode or are you as disappointed by the series as I am?  Please share your thoughts.