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The Vampire Diaries “Klaus” 

Photo Credit: Bob Mahoney/The CW

So I’m not generally a fan of being made to feel like a dumbass, but I was really impressed that “Klaus” did that, and that I didn’t get pissed off about it until later when I was sort of breaking it down. The gist, though, is that everything we thought was going on with the whole sun and the moon hoohah was complete bullsh-t. Psych! Oh, and Elijah was keeping a really, really big secret that was a little more than mildly relevant to the proceedings. 

It was a flashback-heavy hour narrated by Elijah to Elena, who I was surprised was still vertical at the end of his tale. We also had Klaus-as-Alaric pulling the Band-Aid off for Jenna, who has exactly the raging meltdown you would expect. And Damon has one of his own all over Andie when she starts to find her backbone. Lastly, we finally meet the actual Klaus, past and present.

We begin with Elijah un-ashing and first I have to ask WTH the tattered clothes were about because he’s only been sidelined a few weeks. That part was a little suspension of belief. Elena gives Elijah the dagger to prove she genuinely wants his help and he Capri Suns a blood bag while they drive to the Lockwoods, where he compels Carol to welcome them in and part with one of the mayor’s suits. Elena asks how he knew she was off vervain and he said he got her off of it. Sneaky!

Once he’s sated with blood and re-dressed, he sits down with a cup of tea (I think) and begins the story of how he introduced Klaus to Katherine, when she was still Katerina. Klaus (Joseph Morgan) makes his swaggering entrance at about the ten-minute mark and because I’d not seen any of the promo stills, I have to say, they nailed the casting. Especially so, because as Elijah continues that it was Klaus’s birthday and Katerina was a gift of sorts (ew?), when he finishes painting the scene, he casually mentions that Klaus is his brother. Way to bury the lead, there, ya’ll. The CW and their brothers, I tell you.

As for the other brothers, over at casa Salvatore/Gilbert, Stefan panics when he realized what Elena’s done, but she asks him to respect her wishes, and he does. Damon, on the other hand rages into a snit because it’s Elena and free will and that doesn’t compute for him at all. Complicating matters is that he’s taking out his drama on Andie, and Stefan, chivalrous, as ever meets that with a big “no.” The third time he intervenes, Damon threatens to smack him down. Before that transpires, he carts Andie over to Alaric’s on a hunch and isn’t at all surprised to find Katherine. He gives her vervain to fight off Klaus’s compulsion. Elena has her big, bad ally; he’s going to have his.

Stefan occupies himself by trying to keep Alaric/Klaus from hurting Jenna. He does physically, but Klaus rocks her world when he just blurts out that vampires are real and gets a little handsy with a knife. Stefan super speeds him and tells Jenna to run, but because she’s slow like that, it takes him going veiny eyed before she tells her feet. She flees to Salvatore/Gilbert (and somehow Stefan doesn’t kill Alaric), and Stefan calls Elena home to take care of her. Elena takes leave of Elijah with the promise to return to him and then races to Jenna’s side, where all she can do is apologize profusely and hold her while she cries.

Elena puts Jenna to bed and returns to Elijah and he does the big reveal. The sun and moon curse isn’t what they think it is. The whole thing has been a ruse—hand-gilded by Klaus and Alaric and attributed to the Aztecs—because Klaus was the bastard son of a Lycan, so he’s mixed blood—half vamp/half wolf, and he created the curse as a lure to get the moonstone and the doppelganger together so he can actively unleash both sides—the curse has kept him locked into vampdom and the moonstone and Elena can release him so he can sire a master race. This plan was the final straw that made Elijah realizes perhaps his dear brother is a bit on the bonkers megalomaniacal side and should be stopped.

Finally, we return to Alaric’s, where another witch arrives with a monster trunk. She and Maddox begin mojoing in proper and then Alaric drops like a rock. They unbuckle the trunk and out walks Klaus, in the present, in the flesh, reborn, while Katherine stands there slack jawed.

So wrap your brain around that. The curse was a big old MacGuffin to get all hands on deck in locating the necessary pieces, but the end run is that bringing them together will unleash a super-race that will likely eliminate vamps and werewolves as individual species.

I was glad Jenna finally had the rug pulled but I wanted her to be mad as hell and not a weepy mess, but at least she knows. I’d like Damon to rehinge himself, too, because the unhinged self-loathing thing is starting to grate a bit. Stefan calls him on loving Elena but not having her respect, which is what sends him to ravaging Andie until he stops himself and she runs half naked away from him while he screams at her. So, he’s not in a good place. Hopefully somebody will buck up the little camper.

And finally—really, nobody else in all of these 500 years knew that Elijah and Klaus were brothers? Why did Katherine never reveal that? Part of me wondered if the twist was decided later or if it was always the plan. It doesn’t really matter. Either way, it’s a good rippin’ yarn.

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