Episode: “Boys’ Night”
Writers: Steven Levitan and Jeffrey Richman
- “I’m still growing into my tongue.”
- Â “What are you thinking? Haley is a very sweet and fashionable girl but seems hardly a responsible caregiver!”
- I’ve been spending a lot of time with a lot of straight people lately, and darling, I need a night with my homies.” “You mean homos…” “You know maybe you should stay in and babysit.”
- “Ohhh, I love Westerns. The bloodier the better — that’s my favorite type of movie. That and anything set against the backdrop of competitive cheerleading.”
- “And just so you know, a lot of people think I’m adorable.”
- “I was drunk. I don’t want to go shopping with Priscilla Queen of the Desert.”
- “Are you talking about Rob Lowe?” “I’m just saying he’s a very versatile actor. I think his good looks have actually held him back.” “I can relate to that.”
- “I just changed her diaper so all you need to do is put her down in about a half hour and not let a serial killer in the front door.” “But what if he’s cute?” “Well then save him for us.”
- “We’re going to be totally fine. You just go and get your gay on.” “Oh it is on like Donkey Kong. Well clearly, it’s not on yet. But it will be.”
- “You see what you’re doing? you’re tearing this family apart.”
- “Richard Gere. Oh my God! I’ll be the officer. Don’t be a gentleman!”
- “We were just concerned that you looked dead. No offense.”
- “I can’t believe I drove all the way to the Valley to pick you up.”
- “Because I left them at your Uncleses house.”
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