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What They Said

What They Said: Favorite Lines from Modern Family “Our Children, Ourselves” 

Photo Credit: ABC

Modern Family is so consistently hilarious every week it’s hard not to write down every single line as a favorite. I, however, tried to restrain myself. I said tried.

Episode: “Our Children, Ourselves”

Writers: Dan O’Shannon and Bill Wrubel

Claire: “It’s an obsessive compulsive thing. I’ve read like a hundred articles about it. Where’d she get it from?”


Phil: “Yeah. It’s a mystery.”


Phil: “I’ve bounced so many balls off those big teeth.”


Cameron: “I too took my fair share of ladies to the henhouse. No really. I did take them to the henhouse. That’s the only place you could get some privacy on a farm.”

Mitchell: “You’re so gay you can’t even think of real girl’s names.”


Cam: “I want to hear all about Mitchell from high school. Did he have a beard?”

Tracy: “You’re looking at her.”


Cam: (to Lily) “You naughty little girl.”

Mitchell: “Well, you know. That’s what happens when you give me Kahlua.”


Jay: “The beauty of it is we’re never gonna see each other again so there’s no reason to be uncomfortable.”

Gloria: “They’re staying with us tonight. Their bags are in our house.

Jay: “Then you were right. This is uncomfortable.”


Mitchell: “Are you ok?”

Cam: “Yeah. Well, you don’t just tell your partner you may have a baby with someone else and expect them to go back to eating a delicious and inventive meal like it’s nothing.”


Gloria: “Quiet. They can hear you.”

Jay: “They probably already heard me. His hobby is listening.”


Jay: “I should do what you do? Pretend to like someone I don’t?”

Gloria: “I’m doing it right now.”


Phil: “Our favorite categories include: Genetically engineered animals gone wrong.”

Claire: “Old and young people switching bodies.”

Phil: “Tough guys taking care of babies.”

Claire: “Any sequel 3 and higher.”

Phil: “Oh yeah. You usually get a new cast around 5. That’s where the magic really happens.”


Claire: “She’s saying we’re stupid.”

Phil: “Well…she’s wrong.”

Claire: “Is she? Honey, look at how long it just took us to figure out she’s insulting us.”


Jay: “I’m confused.”

Stephanie: “I’m Steph.”


Claire: “Honey, do you want popcorn?”

Phil: “No. I’m Good…N Plenty. So hold…your water cause I’ve got some…twix up my sleeve.”

Claire: “You may be cool but I’m wine cooler.”


Phil: “Why do I have to watch a French movie? I didn’t do anything wrong.”


Mitchell: “I have something to say and I’m afraid if I just don’t say it all at once I’m never gonna say it so-”

Tracy: “Oh. This takes me back to prom night.”

Mitchell: “Again. Sorry about that.”

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