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Dexter “Hello Bandit” 

Photo: Randy Tepper/Showtime

Putting a van with dried blood in front of Dexter when he’s focused on not giving into his dark passenger is like putting a resin-rimmed crack pipe in front of a crack addict who is trying not to smoke up. As with any addiction even when one hits rock bottom and fears for their life, or in Dexter’s case fears having his dark passenger revealed, for some reason they still can’t help themselves. Dexter has now targeted his next victim: a peculiar road kill clean-up man named Boyd. The van Dexter rents to temporarily move his belongings to Debs apartment, he chooses because there’s a blood stain in the back and he was yearning to hop back into conducting his own crime investigations. This van has traces of blood throughout the interior and was last rented by Boyd. Turns out, Boyd is a woman killer. He puts their bodies in barrels and dumps them at a secluded dump site. He also keeps trophies of his kills like a scrapbook holding locks of their hair, each with a number tag. This episode was slow-moving and about as exciting as watching a pot boil. This is probably due to one of two things: a) Dexter hasn’t killed Boyd yet (in the past he used to rack up a murder per episode); and b) The case the homicide unit is working on is completely uninteresting because Dexter isn’t solving it before they do.

Dexter is in the clear with the FBI, for now. He went into his interview prepared to battle accusations that he killed Rita, but to his surprise they told him at the time of her murder they knew he was part of the investigation team at Trinity’s home, which gives Dexter the perfect alibi. They need to find out why Trinity (Arthur Mitchell) targeted Rita, which leads us to Kyle Butler.

The members of the Miami Homicide Unit all recall the case they had with a victim by the name of Kyle Butler. The sketch of Butler came back from the FBI and Quinn jumped on it, so I think we all know where this is going. I guess you need to have at least one person suspicious of Dexter to raise the suspense, but this storyline is coming up short considering it seems like a lackluster version of how Doakes handled his suspicions of Dexter in season 2. But I have high hopes that the Kyle Butler story will throw us for a spin! My fingers are crossed they don’t let me down.

Batista and Laguerta: Batista found out Laguerta has an ass load of money in the territory of a couple million. He constantly asked others in the homicide unit what they would do if they “theoretically” found out their spouse had a lot of money. He never confronted Laguerta about it, but Batista did kick some guy’s ass in a bar who taunted him about Laguerta’s bank account and good looks. I really hope this storyline is going somewhere because it’s starting to drag and we’re only two episodes into the season.

Quinn and Deb: Quinn continuously made flirtatious passes at Deb but to no avail. Deb would shoot him down every time. After Dex and the kids moved into her apartment Quinn offered his place to Deb if she was feeling too “cramped”. She ended up taking him up on the offer, but when she arrived at his place she called him a “Fuck Puddle” when he tried to kiss her at the door. When Quinn offered her the bed she declined and said something to the effect of “she didn’t want his chubby sausage fingers all over her”. I do love Debs creative use of profanity and I hope they keep that up this season. By the end of the episode Deb loosened up enough to call Quinn and acknowledge they had sex. I can’t wait to see where this relationships goes!

Fun Fact: Deb wears a retainer when she sleeps (she put one in at Quinn’s house when she slept on the couch).

Astor and Cody:

Astor is naturally taking her mothers death hard. Dexter didn’t want them see to the house after the incident and as a result they skipped school and walked there themselves. Dexter found them in the bathroom somberly staring at the tub and Astor then proceeded to yell at Dex saying she wanted to live with her grandparents instead of with him. Cody, on the other hand, wanted to stay with Dex and cried when he had to leave. So what was the importance of all of this? Dexter finally told Astor he loves her and to comfort Cody he said, just like Dex and Deb, they are brother and sister and its important for them to never split up.

Special Guest Star of the Episode: Southland‘s Shawn Hatosy plays Boyd. I was actually excited to see him on the show and I hope he delivers on the creepy killer goods soon because this episode was a bit painful.

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