
Photo Credit: HBO
Episode: “Authority Always Wins”
Writer: Mark Hudis
- “Do something” “I am. I’m laughing.”
- “Mr. Northman. You’re taller than I expected.” “I get that a lot.”
- “I’ve no interest in being the new Packmaster. Or eating the old one.”

- “Oh you just f–ked us!”
- “Easy now, she just lost her son.” “She just ate her son!”
- “Just get the f–k out.” “Gladly, psycho!”
- “Stackhouse?” “Yeah?” “I had sex.” “Hey, welcome to the club!”
- “You see, Christine, I will always be a Christian first and a vampire second.”
- “And I’m here to tell you, Jesus loves vampires. I mean, anyone who’s been dead for three days knows where we’re coming from.”
- “We can make a life for her. Even like this.”
- “Jesus, Stackhouse. Have you had sex with every woman in this town?” “I don’t know, close, I guess.”
- “You touch Holly I’m throwing your ass in jail.”
- “The streets can be dangerous at this hour. A lady should really be more careful.” “If I meet a lady I’ll let her know.”
- “It’s wonderful to be a vampire, isn’t it?” “Generally, yes. Now? Not so much.”
- “Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for your um, your accomplice, Nora.” “She won’t leave here a free man?”
- “Why endure this for him?” “I just really enjoy your company.”
- “Long live the king.”
- “Can I just say that before you became a vampire, you were a massive d–k.” “I know!”
- “What do you want?” “Um, just a little chin-wag…in private.”
- “Let me ask you a question, Steve. Have you seen Jason’s butt?” “Of course I’ve seen it. Why do you think I’m offering you 10,000 dollars?” “Well, it’s rock hard. You could chip a fang on it.”
- “And speaking of…rock hard…let’s just say you won’t be disappointed.” “Okay, okay, $20,000.” “Look at you. Fang boner and…real boner.”
- “Hair pulling? Really?”
- “Thank you for splitting up Hoyt and that red-haired slut. I’m gonna bake you a pie.”
- “I will never forgive either of you.”
- “According to Nan Flanagan…what was it she liked to call you guys? ‘F–kup One and F–kup Two…’”
- “We are the Authority. I am the authority.”
- “Yeah, I am trying to stay away from politics as much as possible.” “Are you?” “And religion.”
- “The only thing Russell wants more is to see us dead.” “Why?” “He pissed me off. Then I pissed him off. You know how these things go.”
- “I feel like staking you so f–king much right now.”
True Blood airs Sundays at 9/8c on HBO.

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